Big Brother

We've been hearing it since even before the Hollywood writers' strike officially began last month: No writers means more reality TV, more game shows, and more series the networks weren't sure they wanted at all.

Now there's proof.

CBS has released its schedule for January and February programming, and pieces of NBC's plan are emerging as well. So far, it's good news for fans of Law and Order and Big Brother . . . and not so great for everyone else. Some of the plans:

• Law and Order will air Wednesday nights starting Jan. 2. Law and Order: Criminal Intent, which NBC pawned off to USA for the fall, will return to NBC on Jan. 9. The CI episodes will be the same ones that have been airing on USA.
• The first-ever non-summer edition of Big Brother will air Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Sundays starting Feb. 12.
• Also returning Feb. 12: Jericho, which was given seven more episodes after fans launched a nut-buying campaign in the spring.
• The New Adventures of Old Christine will take over the 9:30 p.m. slot in the Monday comedy lineup starting Jan. 28. It will be joined by The Captain, a comedy about the eclectic crowd living in a famous Hollywood apartment building starring Jeffrey Tambor, Chris Klein, and Raquel Welch.

Fox, which is not as hurt by the strike over the winter because of American Idol, was the first to announce its schedule, while ABC's plans are still under wraps. The networks and writers are returning to negotiations today after the producers' most recent proposal was slammed by writers last week. But even if a deal is struck soon, it still looks like we'll be stuck with replacement programming come January.

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It's a wonder how Amber here can keep a conversation going with such a limited vocabulary. I'm really surprised she doesn't grunt and point more often, like infants do when they're at a loss for language. Why doesn't someone buy the girl a dang pocket dictionary? Or even better, why doesn't someone define the word "shame" and send her off to join a book group already? (Thanks, Best Week Ever!)

I usually don't laugh when people cry, but the following was an exception. The "Big Brother" cast members got their photos taken and poor Jen here was a little less than thrilled about her head shot. No one really knows what she's crying about because she immediately covered the pic with her hand while mumbling something about "dark bag eyes." Oh, the horror! But it was photogenic Joe's recap of the trauma that really got me rolling.

• Tyler, Texas isn't thrilled about hosting "Anchorwoman," the Fox reality show where a model will try to make it as a journalist, writes the Hollywood Reporter.
• Tom Wolfe's hallucinogenic book The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test will be made into a movie with Good Will Hunting director Gus Van Sant spearheading, Variety reports.
• According to Reuters, The Pink Panther 2 has a director (Harald Zwart, of Agent Cody Banks fame), and Steve Martin reprising his lead role.
• Basically, Big Brother is going to be everywhere this summer, the Futon Critic says.
• Jive Records wasn't happy about the leak of a new Chris Brown song, Billboard says — until it started climbing the charts.
• Comedic lady Elizabeth Banks will next star in a remake of the Korean horror film A Tale of Two Sisters, says Hollywood Reporter.
• Tim Story, director of Barbershop and both Fantastic Four movies, will direct The Losers, which is based on a non-superhero-themed comic book, Variety says.
• In a pact with Bollywood studio Yash Raj Films, Disney is readying to sign an agreement to make at least one animated feature film voiced by Indian movie stars per year, Reuters reports.
• Pitchfork reveals the tracklist for the new M.I.A. album, Kala, featuring Timbaland.

Photo courtesy of Fox

So you think you could hold your own on a desert island? Keep your cool in a house full of strangers? Solve puzzles all over the world without alienating your boyfriend? Now's your chance to prove it.

CBS has put applications online for the next seasons of its three major reality shows, "Survivor", "Big Brother" and "The Amazing Race". All of the applications have to be submitted with a brief video that shows off why you could be a star. "Survivor" also has scheduled a number of open casting calls, some of them in rather odd locations. I mean, I know "Survivor" films in remote places, but Little Chute, Wisconsin?

The application instructions for "Survivor" notes that chosen contestants will be "adventurous" (gee, really?), "adaptable to new environments" and have "interesting lifestyles, backgrounds and personalities." "The Amazing Race" is looking only for people who enjoy living in close proximity to others.

Some of the disclaimers are fairly amusing: Hopefuls can't become candidates for office until after all the episodes have aired — so I guess that means Dennis Kucinich won't be applying. The "Big Brother" instructions tell applicants to include a full-length photo of themselves — and specify that they must be clothed.

A deadline for "Big Brother" hasn't been announced, but "Amazing Race" applications must be in by Jan. 16, and "Survivor" packets are due Jan. 30. So if you want to be the next prime-time reality star, you'd better get that video camera rolling.

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