This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!
I have a big dilemma. I used to date this guy and the things weren't going in the direction I was hoping, so I ended it. He seemed sort of emotionally unavailable and always stressed out regarding his work status (are they going to renew his post doc contract?, for how long?, etc.). I am looking for a committed, stable guy. He seems to be a nice man, but the major problem here is his work. He works on a contract, which ends the end of August. He is a post doc fellow who is hoping to land a permanent position in his field once his post doc ends. However, he comes from a different country and even though he has his permanent residency status here solved, unless he lands a permanent position in his field here, he will be looking for one in his country of origin. I don't think he is even remotely interested in taking a job that is out of his field, he would much rather go back to his country.
I am confused and even though I like him, I feel that at this moment it's the best we just stay friends. However, he approached me yesterday saying that he does not want to be just friends, that he really likes me and want us to start a real relationship again, but this time a better one, which means more committed. I am really confused. I would be most comfortable with us just being friends until I see that things changed and he really is more committed as he says he is. What's the best answer to give him? If he really likes me, is he going to accept the "friendship only" pace I am willing to take right now?
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