In the beauty world, things can get a little bit crazy sometimes. As the quest for younger-looking skin seems to be a never-ending process, people are trying all sorts of remedies that claim to reduce the appearance of wrinkles and smooth out all our imperfections. The latest trend? Using urine as an acne cure [1]. And as strange as it sounds, this actually isn't the weirdest beauty treatment that exists. Sheep-placenta facials, bull-semen conditioner, snake massages . . . You name it, we found it. But aren't these cures taking things a step too far? After all, ageing is a natural process, and no one ever said wrinkles aren't sexy [2].
Wine Baths
Wine baths supposedly help to reduce wrinkles and cellulite. If you go to Japan, you can also bathe in green tea, coffee, sake . . . and even noodles. You know, whatever floats your boat.
The Sheep Placenta Facial
Victoria Beckham [3] and Simon Cowell [4] are big fans of this antiageing treatment that you can get at Harvey Nichols for £185. It involves sheep-derived lotions, a mask, and red-light therapy. Even if the smell is not as bad as we imagine, the idea of having sheep placenta (or any placenta, for that matter) applied to our faces is disturbing.
Leech Therapy
It may seem like a very old-fashioned way to treat the skin, but leeches supposedly detoxify your blood, and it is said that they help with skin conditions such as psoriasis, herpes, and eczema. Even though only the very best leeches are used in the treatments, We're going to stick with moisturiser!
The Fire Facial
Very popular in China, fire facials (aka Huo liáo) are used to stimulate cell regeneration and "youthify" the complexion. Towels are soaked in a "special elixir" and applied to the skin before being set on fire for a few seconds. This treatment can be used on any part of the body, and it apparently also cures colds and helps with weight loss.
Consuming Pigs' Feet
Full of collagen, pigs' feet are supposedly good against wrinkles. Antiageing creams are nice too.
Semen Facials
Yes, you read this right; semen facials are apparently a thing. A 67-year-old grandmother actually made a YouTube video [5] about this, and she claims that it's her antiageing secret. I'll let you make your own mind up about this.
Caviar Facial
If you have some caviar leftovers and don't feel like eating them, you might want to put them on your face. Apparently caviar is hydrating and firming. We're not sure about the smell, though, so if you really want to try this out, it might be better to turn to the La Prairie Skin Caviar Luxe Cream [6] (£509).
Gold Facials
A gold facial is probably the most expensive facial ever (it costs a whopping £1,000), but we can understand its appeal: it's apparently antiageing, anti-inflammatory, and antiacne. It does look pretty, but we'd rather see the gold on one of our fingers.
Bird-Poo Facial
Another one of Victoria Beckham [7]'s favourites, this treatment comes from Japan and has been renamed the Geisha Facial. For £135, nightingale excrement is dried under UV lamps before being mixed with rice bran and water and applied as a face mask.
Preparation H For Puffy Eyes
In theory, using an haemorrhoid cream to depuff eyes might work, but it's really risky. What if you accidentally get some in your eye? Trust us: there are better ways [8].
Butter to Tighten "Down There"
In some Ethiopian beauty salons, women are given a 45-minute butter massage. They have it applied from head to toe before being instructed to apply some on their vaginal area. Then they have to position themselves over a smoke hole and wait for the butter to melt. This treatment supposedly cleanses and tightens postpregnancy.
Bee-Venom Masks
Bee-venom masks have been around for quite awhile now, and they have been described as the "natural and organic alternative to Botox." It has actually been clinically proven that they can revitalise and renew the skin, leaving it looking firmer.
Face Slapping
Coming from Thailand, this treatment of 15 minutes supposedly helps with wrinkles and shrinks pores. It consists of pinching and light slaps — and doesn't sound very pleasant.
Earthworm-Poo Wrinkle Cream
Featured on the American TV show The Doctors, this cream apparently helps to reverse the ageing process and cure skin conditions such as eczema and psoriasis. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not try.
Bull-Semen Conditioner
Hari's, a hair salon in London, has come up with a new sort of conditioner: mixed with the root of protein-rich plant called katera, bull sperm supposedly strengthens the hair and helps the growth. This treatment is part of the deluxe blow-dry and apparently doesn't smell. Whatever happened to coconut oil?
Hay Wraps
Could hay wraps be the secret to always feeling refreshed and full of energy? The idea is that hot hay will open up your pores and help you relax and rejuvenate. Provided you don't have any allergies, I suppose this could be quite fun. Although it might be quite itchy.
Snail Facials
In Japan, Thailand, and beyond, snails are used for antiageing purposes and are apparently good to get rid of acne — by crawling all over your face, they apply moisturising hyaluronic acid, antioxidants, and proteins to your skin. Don't worry, though; the snails are organically raised.
The Dermaroller
The Dermaroller is a needle-studded roller that is supposed to improve the skin’s collagen production. This torture-instrument-looking roller is very popular in China, but it is also very dangerous: as there is no way to properly sterilise it, it provides a perfect breeding ground for infections, including HIV and hepatitis.
CandyLipz
If Kylie Jenner's lips have you wondering about their secrets, this might be the answer. The CandyLipz device [9] is like a rubber ball that uses intense suction to enhance your pout.
Vampire Face-Lifts
As tried by Kim Kardashian [10] in an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, vampire face-lifts are the reinjection of a patient's own blood back into the skin in order to treat wrinkles and "rejuvenate" the face. It sounds scary and painful, and it costs a whopping £600.
Snake Massages
Snake massages are quite popular in Israel, where they are used to relieve back tension and stress. If you're concerned about the dangers of this treatment, don't worry; the snakes are nonvenomous. We're not convinced about the stress-relieving part, though.
The Bum Facial
This 40-minute treatment that involves lasers, chemical peels, and moisturisers to tone and smooth the skin was extremely popular in 2014. While we understand that getting Kim Kardashian's bum [11] without actually doing anything is appealing, squats are also quite effective and a lot cheaper!
Cat-Litter Face Masks
Fans of YouTube guru Michelle Phan might already know about this. In 2009, she posted a DIY face mask video using kitty litter, explaining that those grains are actually nothing more than clay. If you’re going to try this, please use clean cat litter.