On the lift, a 5-year-old in pigtails pokes her head out from behind her mom's legs. "Are you a boy or are you a girl?" she asks April Mellas, cofounder of the first genderless shopping app RiGIT [1] (and full disclosure, my SO). The response is simple: "What do you think I am?" The little girl shrugs, then dives her hand into her pink Disney princess backpack for a snack.
The exchange was fleeting, but for people straddling the gender divide — with one foot planted on the other side — this is not an isolated question. Society, after all, has conditioned us from a young age to believe there are only two binaries. Gender trickles into the words we use [2]. The emojis we send. The way we are "supposed" to look. Frequently, perhaps even habitually, it also manifests in beauty — an industry that has long been used synonymously as an expression of femininity. This language is on products, in salons, and across marketing campaigns, and while brands are picking up on the importance of inclusivity [3], there is a lot more work to be done.
Because here is the truth: some women like the smell of woodsy colognes [4]. Some men like to get manicures. Some people opt to skip the "men" and "women" speak altogether. It's the 21st-f*cking century — gender lines aren't so set in stone, and that's exactly how it should be. So how do gender-nonconforming people suggest we break down these outdated norms in beauty? We asked them, ahead.
Calvin Klein CK2
Why Genderless Beauty Marketing Matters
"I specifically remember the campaign for Calvin Klein CK2 [5] ($55) — a scent I wear all the time — and how the entire focus of that campaign was androgyny. This was a perfume intentionally marketed to both men and women (and presumably genders in-between and outside of those two as well). I really appreciated that, because at the time the approach was so rare, but so relevant to my experience."
What Brands Get Right — and What They Could Do Better
"I love buying new hair products and trying new styles, but honestly the 'men's' and 'women's' lines do the same thing so the separation is arbitrary. I understand that the beauty industry is an industry — it exists for companies to make money. Most people don't even know that nonbinary people exist, let alone have any idea how to market to us. As upsetting as it is, people outside of the male/female binary are often considered outsiders, especially by big companies that don't want to alienate their very traditional customer base. Hopefully with time and education, nonbinary identities will be as well-represented, understood, and marketed to as binary ones."
Fluide Beauty Glitter in Electric Sea
One Company Changing the Gendered Narrative
"My favourite beauty brand is Fluide Beauty because they make lipsticks and glitters and nail polishes that, from the ground up, have been built without any gender assumptions whatsoever. Its marketing is fresh, beautiful, cute, and inclusive as f*ck. I wish every brand could market beauty products as inclusively, but we're still working toward that. I'm also biased, because I was the face of its spring collection, but even if I weren't, I would still be obsessed." Fluide Beauty Glitter in Electric Sea [6] ($12)
Cetaphil Facial Hydrating Lotion
OG Beauty Brands That Break the Binary
"I didn't realise how important it was to moisturise. My dad raised me, and I guess it wasn't deemed masculine at the time, so he wasn't really aware of much about skin care compared to today's men. I use a lot of Cetaphil, and I also use natural products from brands like Dr. Bronner because they don't throw in the extra perfume or cologne to appeal to either gender — it's just neutral." Cetaphil Facial Hydrating Lotion [7] ($16)
Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Pure-Castile Liquid Soap
The Category That Could Use Some Improvement
"My fiancé does this thing where we'll pick a night and do face masks. It's an important thing for us, yet the options are advertised mainly for women. I don't understand why it has to be so gender-biased." Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Pure-Castile Liquid Soap [8] ($10)
Courtney McCullough
Courtney McCullough [9], model
How Gender Can Be Fluid
"I identify as an androgynous woman. As a child, though, I was gender fluid and didn't explore traditional femininity until I was 16. I realised it made no sense to me, but I suppressed my true identity out of insecurity and shame. Realising that this shame was projected onto me by adults, other kids, the media, and marketing, I decided I had to own my identity and not let anyone take it from me. "
On Beauty Marketing Done Right
"Brands' casting choices should represent gender, ethnicity, physicality, ability, age, and gender fluidity. For example, CoverGirl having Ellen Degeneres [10] as a spokesmodel is a wonderful idea, and I would love to see more nonheteronormative people represented in marketing campaigns. When I see long-haired, feminine-presenting women as the face of practically every beauty and cosmetics brand, I don't necessarily believe the product isn't for me, but it is isolating. As an androgynous woman, I do not represent traditional femininity, but I enjoy wearing makeup, and I'm not the only one."
Vaseline Intensive Care Advanced Repair Unscented Lotion
But Beauty Marketing Can Also Be Deceiving . . .
"My favourite product would be dental floss. My go-to inexpensive beauty weapon: Vaseline's body lotion. These are not separated by gender, and I find it strange that shaving gel is (and that women's shaving gel costs more). I suppose we are paying for that raspberry fragrance they've tricked us into thinking we need!" Vaseline Intensive Care Advanced Repair Unscented Lotion [11] ($6)
Fluide Beauty Liquid Lipstick in Rosemont
How Other Industries Are Part of the Gender Problem
"It's not just the beauty industry; it's the media and entertainment industry, too. They all simultaneously want our visibility and aesthetics, but they don't want to shift their paradigms and policies. This is why almost every nonbinary and gender-nonconforming person I know who has interfaced with beauty companies continues to get misgendered on set. It's not enough to feature gender-nonconforming people if you won't actually shift the way that you market and distribute your products more generally."
When a Lipstick Deserves Some Love
"Lipstick is usually marketed toward women, which is why I like Fluide Beauty's Rosemont Lip [12]. The shade goes well with my skin tone!" Fluide Beauty Liquid Lipstick in Rosemont [13] ($16)
Ali Medina (instagram alimedina_3)
Ali Medina [14], teacher, artist, and model
Breaking Down the "Norms"
"I originally started modelling because I wanted to challenge hegemonic gender expectations and standardizations in the industry by working with designers that cater to individuals all across the gender spectrum. I saw the fashion world as a space to exhibit alternative standards of beauty outside of the gender binary. My interest in fashion came from my desire to find clothes that were not exclusively made for 'men' or 'women' but were produced for and with respect to all kinds of bodies. I started to seek out companies that provided for nonbinary humans, like myself, because I was tired of wearing apparel that did not reflect me."
The Unspoken Pressure of Choosing a Side
"I have always felt uncomfortable with gender as a binary concept. Given the prevalence and power of the binary, I have experienced a lot of pressure to express my gender within confined and stereotypical definitions of 'male' or 'female.' I frequently go on castings for beauty products or beauty campaigns, and in the casting instructions, there are guidelines for what men and women should wear — which reinforces the gender binary and doesn't create a space for gender-fluid or nonbinary individuals."
R+Co CONTROL Flexible Paste
The Open Mind Behind 1 Hair Brand
"I really like R + Co, especially the Paste. Its branding is pretty neutral with beautiful landscapes and designs, and they also have a very diverse selection of models." R+Co CONTROL Flexible Paste [15] ($27)
What You Can Do Moving Forward
"Support designers, companies, and forums that exhibit gender-neutral beauty products and fashion that creates spaces that are affirming, celebratory, and inherently political. These spaces honour the potential that beauty and fashion design has to be transgressive, but also pay tribute to the history of fashion in queer communities as a space of declaration and resistance."