Gwyneth Paltrow [1] is the kind of person who swears by quartz stones [2] and "breath work" and thinks pricking your face with a bee stinger [3] is the secret to great skin. I, on the other hand, am about as holistic as a loaf of Wonder Bread. (We can probably all agree there's room for growth on both ends.)
Still, there's something wildly appealing about Paltrow's intentional approach to beauty [4] and self-care — an area I could stand to widen. Could there be a method behind the madness of floating around [5] in a pod-shaped tank of salt water? Or spiking your coffee with powder supplements? I was determined to find out.
In an effort to live my best Goop-inspired life, last week I searched the depths of my bedroom for a years-old gift card to Lift [6], downloaded her extensive 5-Day Detox [7], and stocked up on products from her nontoxic beauty line. What came next was a surprise to me: I, too, discovered the balance between cigarettes and tofu [8] . . . and I liked it.
Lift Flotation Therapy
While Goop's recommendation was actually to purchase a $16,500 floating tub [9], the idea of being trapped in a pitch-black pod while completely submerged in water sounds like a special kind of hell for me. I decided on the next best thing: a floatation tank at Brooklyn's Lift with higher ceilings and a little more legroom.
It was still dark and terrifying at first, but after 20 minutes (of the one-hour session), I nearly fell asleep from relaxation. Would I say the 1000 pounds of Epsom salt leave my hair and skin silky soft? Not really, but it was nice as hell giving my feet (and mind) a break for a fraction of the day.
Goop Eau de Parfum: Edition 01 — Church
Hello, have you ever tried a fragrance intended to smell like snow and "sensual quiet?" Me neither. That's what made spritzing on the Goop Eau de Parfum: Edition 01 – Church [10] ($55) before emerging outside to NYC's blistering winds every day a true delight. . . even if people still talked to me (and sensual, it was not).
Goop Luminous Melting Cleanser
The concept of a cleansing balm has always seemed nice in theory — massage onto face, watch makeup melt away, rinse, and then rinse two more times to get off the residue — but the truth remains: I am lazy, and that's about five more steps I've never been willing to take. During my Goop heyday, however, I made an exception and slathered on the Goop Luminous Melting Cleanser [11] ($80) every night as the first step in my skincare routine.
It took a few extra minutes, as expected, and — even though it felt great to give myself a DIY [12] face massage — I found myself dreading the step. . . until I realised my skin after cleansing felt so damn soft.
Goop Exfoliating Instant Facial
I had tried the Goop Exfoliating Instant Facial [13] ($125) once before, and loved how the gentle blend of AHAs and BHAs acted like a light switch for my skin, making it look infinitely brighter in just three minutes.
I've never needed the treatment more than I did after hibernating for four days straight from a projected snowstorm during this challenge. I started out looking like a true vampire (if vampires had dull, grey, practically translucent skin) but after using it twice, I looked more like a pre-Edward Bella when I stepped outside.
Goop Goopglow
The hardest part of my entire week was the diet part, hands down. Paltrow's 5-Day Detox involves cutting out the essentials in my primary food groups: gluten, dairy, corn, refined sugar, caffeine, alcohol, white rice, eggs. . . my head nearly exploded at the thought. Here's an example of one day's meal:
- First thing: Warm water with lemon
- Breakfast: Blueberry Coconut Chia Smoothie
- Lunch: Leftover Salmon Patties and Toum over arugula with lemon and olive oil
- Snack: Apple and almond butter
- Dinner: Beans and Greens Soup with Harissa and Saffron
Once I decided to do the Detox Lite (as I like to call it), which involves a slightly more lenient approach should a mozzarella stick or glass of wine present itself to me but generally sticks to the rules, I decided to shop for the ingredients — which is just as expensive as you imagined. When I was too rushed to make a breakfast smoothie (so, every day) I swapped it with the Goop Goopglow [14] ($60), which is a powder supplement that tastes like Gatorade and contains antioxidants meant to revive from the inside out. Seeing as how I only used it for a week, I didn't notice any changes in my skin. . . unless you count what comes from getting a few extra Zzz's in the morning.
Goop G.Tox Ultimate Dry Brush
The wellness practice of boosting circulation via dry brush [15] is not new, but it is the first time I used one in the shower on a consistent basis. I used the Goop G.Tox Ultimate Dry Brush [16] ($20), which felt like any other dry brush, really, but it does have a nice slanted wooden handle that makes it easy to get every curve of your body.
Goop G.Tox Glacial Marine Clay Body Cleanser
Now, a clay cleanser is something I can get behind. We already know the natural ingredient can balance the skin [17] and dislodge any impurities on the skin, but I never expected the Goop G.Tox Glacial Marine Clay Body Cleanser [18] ($30) to smell so good. Within seconds of applying it, my shower was clouded with a calming rosemary and peppermint scent that made me feel instantly more zen.
Goop G.DAY Black Pepper + Rose Hip Energy Body Oil
Lazy as I am, there is one thing I will always do after a shower: moisturise. I usually stick to a hydrating lotion so I'm not waddling off with that dry, tight-skin feeling, but there was a certain level of luxury in using the Goop G.DAY Black Pepper + Rose Hip Energy Body Oil [19] ($60) instead. Not only does it smell delicious (fresh ginger! Pink peppercorn!) but the formula also sunk into skin within seconds, so I never felt greasy — just a little like Gwyneth Paltrow [20].