"I feel sorry for your fingers." Those were the six words that came out of the woman's mouth when she took my hands to try and bless them with a manicure for my wedding. Can I get an ouch?
As painful as that sentence was to take in — especially so close to my big day — truth be told, it was just what I needed to hear to recognise how out of control my nail-biting habit had become. See, I've been a nail-biter for 20-some long years. Looking back, I can't recall how this grotesque, compulsive habit even started, but it's one that has followed me well into adulthood.
It's embarrassing, to say the least — and honestly, I don't think many people realized how much the constant urge to pick, pull, or bite at my fingernails consumed me. But really, that was my goal, because every time I'd shred my cuticles to the point where they'd be dripping with blood — gross, I know — I'd hide each wounded finger so no one would notice. Because what sane person nips at their nail (and the skin around it) until red liquid oozes out, right? To make matters worse, I would feel strangely satisfied each time this happened.
If you are also a chronic nail-biter, I'm hoping you can relate. (By hoping, what I really mean is: please tell me you've experienced similar scenarios so I don't feel too crazy.) And if by chance you are nodding your head in agreement, please know that I, too, feel your pain. What's more? I've got good news for you.
After years of searching high and low for an effective nail-biting solution — and literally trying every single program under the sun — I finally found a method that actually worked. Although it was one of the hardest challenges I've endured, I'm confident that if I can nip this nasty habit in the bud, anyone can.
So if you're ready to quit biting your nails once and for all — and, let's be real, who isn't? — your guide to beautiful hands awaits ahead!
Step One: Force Yourself to Commit
Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim
Yes, this step is much easier said than done, but trying to break ties with a habit that has comforted you for years simply won't happen if you don't force yourself to commit. So whether you start following nail artists on social media for inspiration, cover your apartment with sticky-note reminders, or jot down your progress, I encourage you to do whatever is needed to really commit, no matter the extremes.
Another effective way to commit? Start reading the negative health risks associated with nail biting. For example, did you know this habit can eventually spoil your smile? It's true. By biting away at your nails, you're more likely to chip, crack, or break your teeth, not to mention you have a higher risk of becoming sick with a vicious infection since your hands are a hotbed for germs. Trust me, nothing is more motivating to commit than by flooding your mind with the negative impacts this habit can cause.
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Step Two: Pinpoint Your Triggers
Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim
In order to fully commit, you need to pinpoint why you even bite or pick your nails in the first place. In my case, nail biting started out as one way to "control" my anxiety. As soon as stress started swirling around in my head, my hands would immediately find their way to my mouth. And what's worse is that over time, I noticed this habit took a dangerous turn: it became automatic. The second I'd zone out or enter the land of boredom, the biting would begin.
Yet, by identifying what triggered this impulse — which at one time seemed like everything — I was able to become aware of this compulsion and cultivate mindfulness around it so I could essentially fight the nagging urge to bite.
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Step Three: Uncover New, Healthier Ways to Cope With Anxiety
Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim
Once you've identified the underlying roots that trigger your impulse to bite, the next step is uncovering new ways to deal with these issues. For me, this came in the form of being introduced to the wonderful world of yoga.
But if rolling out a mat isn't your cup of tea, fear not: there are plenty of other methods out there. Whether it's meditation, therapy, or simply bringing out the crayons to dive into a little therapeutic colouring, the options are endless if you have an open mind.
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Step Four: Cultivate New Behavior
Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim
OK, out of all the steps, chances are this one will most likely be the hardest, simply because it will require some good ol' behavioural conditioning. Now, it is important to point out that because you're essentially rewiring your brain to refrain from biting, the methods in this step will vary from person to person. And that's totally OK. No matter how many times you have to start over or try different methods, stay committed!
For me, the key was investing in continuous manicures. I noticed that whenever my nails were neatly trimmed and stylishly painted, I didn't want to destroy the pretty work by gnawing away at the polish. And because I would never let a hangnail rest in peace, I also found it extremely helpful to keep a pair of nail clippers with me at all times.
While consistent manicures were my ultimate gateway to success, another solution I found helpful was coating my nails with yucky-tasting polishes. For example, this awful-tasting formula known as Mavala Stop (£10.50) works wonders.
A few other effective methods:
Keeping your nails trimmed short: The less nail you have to bite, the less temptation you'll face.
Using a fidget toy to keep your hands busy: Let these antistress balls (£13) come to the rescue when you have built-up tension and are ready to take it out on your hands. This thinking putty (£5) also works.
Gently snapping an elastic hair tie around your wrist: By keeping an elastic hair tie around your wrist, you can gently snap it whenever you experience the urge to bite your nails.
Covering your nails with Band-Aids: Yes, this sounds extreme and can be quite embarrassing, but remember: you won't be able to bite your nails this way.
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Step Five: Speak Up and Remember That Patience Is Key
Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Mark Popovich
If your nail-biting habit is anything like mine was, chances are you're going to need a bit of support in order to officially quit once and for all. That said, don't be afraid to speak up and ask for help. Every time my husband would notice me starting to bite my nails, he would immediately bring it to my attention and remind me of what I was doing. Looking back, I can't even begin to describe how invaluable this gentle reminder was since I could then make a conscious effort to stop instead of unconsciously relapsing.
Above all, keep in mind that this process is exactly that: a process. It's also one that will take lots of time and patience. (Remember: skin heals slowly and repairing a nail bed is no quick fix.) So tackle each hurdle as it comes, keep the motivation rolling, and trust me, you will succeed.
