Kim Kardashian's Brutally Honest Tweets About Her Holiday Are Totally Wild

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A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian)

If you've ever wondered how the holidays you go on with your BFFs stack up to the ones Kim Kardashian organises, the reality star is here to tell you. To celebrate Kourtney Kardashian's 38th birthday, the sisters arranged a girls-only trip to Tulum, Mexico, with friends Jen Atkin, Joyce Bonelli, Stephanie Sheppard, Malika and Khadijah Haqq, Brittny Gastineau, and Larsa Pippen. If you thought it would consist of only some innocent sunbathing (and underboob flaunting) on the beach, think again. Kim decided to give fans a play-by-play of what the gang was up to via Twitter, which she kicked off with a blurry photo of what looks like everyone cuddling a giant inflatable penis . . .

Currently pic.twitter.com/wYKCX08N5k

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

. . . followed by a series of tweets that leaves no member of the group unscathed.

Kourtney

. @kourtneykardash threw up in her bed 4 times and slept in it

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Oh and @kourtneykardash won't stop doing naked cart wheels

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Jen

. @jenatkinhair spiked my Oreo shake to try to get me to not eat it because she's fat shaming me

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

🍦mood 🍦#FuckYouJenAtkin pic.twitter.com/fR5AFAvyAe

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Larsa

. @larsapippen tried to give me a "special" brownie and I threatened to sue her & the chef

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Britt

. @BrittGastineau skinny dipped solo and then disappeared for the two days

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Stephanie

. Nicole Reda had a 10 min black out & tried to fight @steph_shep

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Joyce and Malika

. @jOYCEBONELLi put nipple clamps on @ForeverMalika

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Sarah

. @sarahrhoward tweaked her neck twerking (I will snap chat videos soon)

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Khadijah

. @ForeverMalika @ForeverKhadijah All I will say is...2 twins 1 jet ski

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

And what has Kim been doing throughout all of this? Well . . .

Oh and as for me you ask? ...I'm just sitting here on the beach with my flawless body

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Of course she is.