Lady Gaga arrived at the Venice Film Festival on Aug. 30, and when I say she arrived, I mean she f*cking arrived. What other icon would show up, resplendent in a beautiful little black dress, a full face, hair curled delicately and delightfully in a flawless up-do, holding a flower for extra dramatic effect? Not a one, my dear readers, friends, and haters. Not a one. Did I mention that she was on a boat?! I know, many people arrive at the annual film festival on a boat, because Venice is a sea-surrounded city that is slowly sinking into the watery depths below. But few people can execute their entrance with such elegance, such effortlessness, such . . . Gagatry.
The timeless icon — Our Lady of Gaga, Our Mother of Monsters — was of course in attendance to promote her upcoming cinematic triumph, A Star Is Born, which arrives complete with a full soundtrack and far too many emotions for my frail, Gaga-addled body to handle. But I shall persevere. And now, without further ado, please, for the sake of all that is sacred, lay thine eyes upon these photographs, for they have the propensity to inspire just as much hope and healing as they do fainting and devastation.