Cheryl Cole's been sunning herself in South Africa with Derek Hough lately, and she looks just as gorgeous on the February cover of Elle magazine. She's opened up to the magazine about negative opinions, her rollercoaster 2010 as well as Simon Cowell's opinion of her. Take a look behind the scenes of her photoshoot, and here's some excerpts from her interview:
- On negative opinion: "I have taken so much s*** that I’ve stopped listening to other people. I have had enough. There’s only so much you can cope with and then you either allow it to swallow you up or you say, 'Sod this. I have had it with negativity and bitchiness.' I want people to like my music but I couldn’t give a s*** about what they think of me. Take it or leave it. I do not care."
- On her competitive nature: "Simon [Cowell] says I’m the most competitive person he’s ever met, but I’d never try to get ahead at somebody else’s expense. People are always pulling other people down to make themselves feel better, but thinking positive, feeling positive: it just brings so much difference to your life."
- On public perception that she's coped well: "It’s very much a perception. And that can be frustrating at times, especially when somebody you’ve never seen before approaches you in a restaurant toilet with an opinion on your marriage. Nobody knows what I went through behind closed doors. Nobody knows what it was like when I was on my own. Of course I held myself together in public. Who wouldn’t? Do people want me to throw myself on the street and weep?"
- On who she is now: "It’s all about performance. But I find it really hard to be somebody else. It’s unhealthy to think of yourself as a brand, or to refer to yourself in the third person. I can’t turn on a separate character or inhabit a different mental space. I am who I am and I can’t pretend to somebody else.I’ve learned a lot about myself and how I feel. I’ve learned how I would approach things differently. But it’s not something that I find easy to analyse. I’ve lived through all this. It’s difficult to find perspective."
To see what else she has to say about her confidence, her music and her future, just read more.
- On her confidence: "My confidence has never hit such an all-time low as it has this last year. It feels really bad. I’ve always been self-critical but… I don’t look at pictures of myself. I can’t. I used to be able to, back in the beginning. It’s not about how you look. though, but how you feel inside. I’m getting there again, but it’s a process. At least I can say I’m happy with my morals and with myself as a person."
- On her future: "Everything happens for a reason. I really do think so. The reasons will come to me in time. There are people who literally have nothing left when they go through divorce. I’ve still got hope. I haven’t got children to worry about or other lives that I’m messing with. Everything I’m dealing with is very much about myself. My own demons; my own feelings. People who have been in my situation tell me that it’s taken them a long time, it’s been a long struggle and by no means are they over it – but they know why it happened. I can’t wait to get to that point. I’m sure there are reasons. I don’t know what they are yet, but I’ve got to believe it. I’ve got to! The one thing I would love is to just feel settled one day. It’d be nice to take six months out and go to a mountain top and just meditate, let myself go, but taking a night off to eat in a restaurant where everybody wants a picture? I can’t always be on show. Am I a workaholic? No. Well, maybe. It’s kind of all I’ve known for the past 10 years. I don’t know anything else."
- On music: "Music is everything to me. More than anything, I love making music. Nobody can ever take that away from me. I don’t want to sing something I don’t feel. Of course there’s a sense of putting yourself out there to be criticised, and that’s OK when it’s music. When it’s personal, it’s very different."
Check out the full interview with Cheryl in February 2010's ELLE magazine, out now!