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Every year, I can't help but get unbearably excited about the next chapter of American Horror Story. There's something so exhilarating about a fresh start, a new horror story, and an entirely different concept. This year, we march onward into American Horror Story: Cult, which will almost surely be packed with political commentary — and which may or may not be about the seventh of the nine circles of Hell. Each time a new season starts, I wonder the same things. Will this be the scariest season yet? Will this be the best season yet? Every time, I hope the answers are "yes" and "yes." Which begs the question: how do all the previous seasons stack up? Well, as someone who lives and dies by AHS, I'm outlining my own definitive ranking. Sorry if you disagree, but you're wrong. (Actually, I'm not sorry. Come at me.)