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10 Essential Roseanne Episodes to Watch Before the ABC Reboot

20/03/2018 - 11:40 PM

You would have to be Amish or living under a rock not to know that Roseanne is returning [1] to ABC on March 27 (unless you're Amish and living under a rock, in which case you're seriously breaking all the rules reading this).

Like Will & Grace and Full House before it, the return of Roseanne is scratching our current insatiable itch [2] for nostalgia [3]. By all accounts, the working-class family from Landford, IL, is ready to scratch that itch.

But before the new season starts, it's important to look back to understand why Roseanne mattered in the first place. There really haven't been many families like the Conners on TV before or since — families struggling to pay the bills, sharing bedrooms out of economic necessity, tackling problems like depression, teenage sex, LGBTQ+ issues, abuse, and so much more. Here are just a few of the episodes you need to watch, all available on Amazon Prime, before the season premiere.

Season two, episode 10: "Brain-Dead Poets Society"

Of all the Conner children, Darlene was the one that stood out the most. She goes from a sarcastic tomboy kid to a sarcastic moody teen to, ultimately, a sarcastic young mom and bride. But it's in this episode that we first see some depth behind Darlene's sarcasm.

Darlene quickly writes a poem for a class assignment. It turns out to be good, and she's selected to read it aloud at an assembly, something she refuses to do. Roseanne and Dan fight about it, and Roseanne ultimately wins (duh), forcing Darlene to read the poem.

"To whom it concerns / Darlene's great with a ball / But guys don't watch tomboys / When they're cruising the hall," Darlene reads, bringing everybody to tears. It's a sentiment everyone can relate to: the search to fit in and find your place, and feeling lost and confused throughout the process.

Season six, episode four: "A Stash From the Past"

Jackie, played brilliantly by Laurie Metcalf, has so many hilarious moments, it's almost hard to pick even a handful of highlights. A pregnant Jackie high in a bathtub certainly qualifies as one of those moments.

The set-up is simple: Roseanne finds pot in the house and thinks it belongs to one of the kids, but it turns out to be her weed from the '70s . . . so she and Dan sneak to their bathroom to get high. Just then, after a few moments of hilarity between the two of them, Jackie's voice can be heard. "Nobody loves me," she says. The curtain opens to reveal Jackie, bundled up in a blanket, fully clothed in the bathtub.

The studio audience collectively lost all control.

Season two, episode one: "Inherit the Wind"

The role of Becky, first played by Alicia Goranson and then later replaced by Sarah Chalke [4], has always been difficult character to root for. She can't compete with the brilliance of Darlene and isn't as adorable as DJ. But early on in the series, there are a few choice episodes where Becky truly shines, like this one, where she farts in the middle of a speech at school. In typical fashion, even though the episode is about Becky, Darlene's teasing is the real scene-stealer.

Season four, episode four: "Darlene Fades to Black"

No other show, or character, on a television sitcom has evolved more than Darlene. In this episode, we witness what millions of teenagers experience: depression.

What's more poignant is how the family is unsure how to react to this change in Darlene. The back and forth fighting between Roseanne and Dan ultimately leads to them deciding that all they can do is allow Darlene to feel what she's feeling and be there for her. Yet somehow, as always, they are able to convey a very serious message in the form of comedy. This is just another example of what made this show so brilliant.

Season five, episode 16: "Wait Till Your Father Gets Home"

Most people remember this episode because of Jackie's phone call with her hard-of-hearing aunt.

"Dad's DEAD," she yells as she tries to tell her aunt that her and Roseanne's father died. However, what's often missed from this episode is the revelation that their father was cruel and abusive.

Roseanne in particular is forced to come to terms with her complicated feelings about her father, the love mixed with resentment, and the aspects of her combative personality that she may have gotten from him.

Season six, episode 18: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Roseanne did more for LGBTQ+ representation on TV than any other show of the era. When other shows were treating their LGBTQ+ characters (if they even had any) as different or special, Roseanne allowed them to not only exist on every episode of the show, but exist in a way that was just regular, and often. But "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was the episode that garnered the most attention.

Roseanne and Jackie go dancing at a gay bar with Nancy, played by Sandra Bernhard, and her new friend Sharon, played by Mariel Hemingway. Sharon kisses Roseanne, setting the stage for Roseanne to think about her own prejudices. This was woke TV before the word "woke" even existed.

Season two, episode 24: "Happy Birthday"

If you're a true Roseanne fan, you know that this episode is actually a very important story arc that played into the final episode of the series. According to the last episode, this episode, the season two finale, is when everything in the series became "scripted," when Roseanne Conner started writing the story of her family.

The actual episode is simple: it's Roseanne's birthday when she finds her old writings and feels inspired to take up writing again, so Dan and the kids turn the basement into her writing studio. But according to the final episode, the real "end" of the sitcom Roseanne was this episode, and everything that followed was all made up by Roseanne Conner. This is Twilight [5] Zone levels of weird.

Season two, episode 18: "I'm Hungry"

Things are different today, but it used to be that there weren't too many characters on TV openly struggling with their weight. Roseanne and Dan Conner were some of the first characters on TV regularly talking about, and sometimes poking fun at, their weight. Considering the number of Americans who are overweight, the regular presence of two characters on TV that look like most people had to have played a role in what made Roseanne so popular.

In this episode, Roseanne and Dan diet and, in the process, drive each other crazy. The results are funny, but also incredibly relatable.

Season six, episode 11: "The Driver's Seat"

Even though this episode is about DJ stealing the car, it's really about Roseanne. When Dan and Roseanne confront DJ, Roseanne loses her temper and spanks him. Jackie, who witnesses Roseanne's reaction, is shocked, saying it's exactly how their dad used to beat them. Meanwhile, Dan says Roseanne was just stressed.

This moment forces Roseanne to look at her reaction, her anger, and the possible signs of abuse repeating themselves in her parenting. Even though this is a very serious episode, it ends on perhaps one of the best closing credits ever: a spoof of Cops, complete with blurred language, bleeps, and a shaky camera.

Season five, episode 13: "Crime and Punishment"

Need proof that Laurie Metcalf is an amazing actress? Watch. This. Episode! Darlene walks in on Jackie changing and sees her back bruised. Roseanne confronts Jackie, and she admits her boyfriend beat her up. Before breaking down, Jackie tries to explain what happened, rationalize, and make sense of it.

If you needed one example of how Roseanne took serious issues and made them relatable, this would be the episode to watch (or rather, start with). Even at its most serious moments, they still find the comedy: Darlene is sent to bail Dan out of jail after he beats up Jackie's boyfriend, and well, needless to say, Darlene milks the opportunity for all it's worth.


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