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10 Bizarre Game of Thrones Theories That’ll Actually Make You LOL

11/04/2019 - 10:46 PM

One of the things that makes Game of Thrones worth watching — besides Kit Harington [1] and those vicious dragons [2] — is the fan theories [3] that pop up on the internet after each episode airs. Some of those notions draw their conclusions from events in the show's early seasons, like the theory that Samwell will kill the Night King [4]. Others stretch the imagination but retain the show's overarching themes of power and betrayal, such as the current rumour that Daenerys may have to kill Jon Snow [5]. But as we enter the final season [6], such predictions have reached a new level of creative genius. So, let's take a moment to celebrate ten theories so crazy, you'll never see the show quite the same again [7].

Ayra Is Dead

Remember Arya's final bout with the Waif back in season six? While it's clear the women fight to the death, we don't see anything about their battle once the candle goes out. We assume Arya prevails because we later find her confronting Jaqen H'ghar [8] about his role in the ambush — but what if Arya actually lost that fight?

Wired suggests the Waif killed Arya [9] and has been wearing her face ever since. The argument hinges on Jaqen's parting decision to bestow Arya with the title of "no one" despite his supposed anger over her missteps, such as murdering Meryn Trant without his permission and her failure to complete the assassination of Lady Crane. Not only is this sudden change of heart out of character for Jaqen, but the term is one he usually reserves for the Waif. Thus, we could interpret his farewell as an indication that he recognises the face behind the mask.

Granted, one could easily discount this theory by saying Arya has been diligent about completing her kill list and that the Waif would have no reason to follow the young Stark's personal vendetta. However, the Waif is an assassin of the highest order, so wouldn't she have just as much fun killing for sport as Arya does for vengeance? So, here's the real question: if the Waif lives, what's her endgame? Clearly, death to Daenerys Targaryen. Yup, you read that right. Remember, the Lannisters once considered using Faceless Men to kill Daenerys prior to her coming into power. Maybe they never fully gave up on that plan and we're heading for one hell of a plot twist where Arya appears to murder the Mother of Dragons.

Cersei Will Give Her Baby to the Night King

During season seven, Cersei discovers she's pregnant with another Lannister heir. This renewed chance at motherhood unleashes — dare we say it — a lioness-like pride that keeps her from fully succumbing to the armistice borne from the Dragonpit Summit.

With a baby on the way, Reddit user lounaaaaaaaa predicts that Cersei may offer her child to the Night King [10] to protect Westeros and through this sacrifice gain control of the Seven Kingdoms. Even though the move would be somewhat out of character for Cersei, since she normally puts family first, the overall theory tracks well when we think back to the introduction of Craster the wildling in the second season.

Lest we forget, Craster is the incestuous old man who lives on a secluded homestead beyond the wall where he turns his daughters into wives. This is relevant because any wife who bears a son has the child ripped from her and offered up to the White Walkers. Is this merely a cruel act or a ritualistic payment for sanctuary on the White Walker's land? If the latter, the show has already laid the groundwork for Cersei to appease the Night King should she choose. Or perhaps, after their lovemaking, Jon and Daenerys have a child of their own to sacrifice. Only time will tell.

Sansa Is Carrying Ramsay Bolton’s Baby

Think back to that delightfully horrific scene in "Battle of the Bastards" (season six, episode nine) where Sansa Stark's sadistic husband Ramsay Bolton gets his face ripped off by a hungry hound. Enjoy the moment. Replay the memory a few times. We'll wait. Now, ponder over the words spoken before the couple parts ways. Ramsay tells Sansa, "Our time together is about to come to an end. That's all right. You can't kill me. I'm part of you now."

Several fans point to this line [11] as a sign that Sansa is pregnant with Ramsay's child. Not convinced? Rewind to the fifth episode of the sixth season where Sansa reveals to Lord Baelish that her husband forced himself upon her:

"He never hurt my face. He needed my face, the face of Ned Stark's daughter. But the rest of me, he did what he liked with the rest of me as long as I could still give him an heir . . . The other things he did, ladies aren't supposed to talk about those things, but I imagine brothel keepers talk about them all the time. I can still feel it. I don't mean in my tender heart it still pains me so. I can still feel what he did in my body standing here right now."

Of course, with all of the real-world time that passes between seasons, you probably think that a Sansa pregnancy isn't possible at this point. But according to our calculations, only a couple months pass [12] between the end of season six and the start of season seven. If the final season begins where last season ended, there may still be logistical space for this devastating revelation.

Daenerys Will Time Travel

This theory by Sean T. Collins suggests that Daenerys will eventually have an opportunity to travel back in time to give herself advice [13]. However, the crux of the idea is that the audience has already seen her time jump take place. Think back to second season when Jorah and Daenerys visit the city of Qarth. The pair have a chance meeting with a mysterious woman named Quaithe, a shadowbinder (like Melisandre) from Asshai best remembered for her checkerboard mask. Fans believe this woman is Daenerys from the future because she delivers a cryptic message that sets the young Targaryen on a larger quest: "To go north, you must go south. To reach the west, you must go east. To go forward you must go back, and to touch the light you must pass beneath the shadow."

For this time-travel theory to work, Daenerys would need Bran's power of the Three-Eyed Raven or some equally potent magic to accomplish this feat. And thanks to the trailer for the new season, we know she'll be meeting the Starks soon [14], so maybe this theory will bear some fruit. Nothing in the show's plot thus far outright debunks the idea except for the fact that Quaithe's eyes are brown while Daenerys's are blue. But of course, that could be part of the disguise that comes with the mask.

Dragon Glass Is Poop

Dragonglass is the Westeros name for obsidian, a form of volcanic glass. Along with Valyrian steel, it's one of the only substances known to kill wights and White Walkers.

However, some fans, like Reddit user The_Others_Take_Ya, believe Dragonglass comes from dragon poop [15]. Since the fact or fiction behind this idea doesn't really affect the upshot of the series, there's no harm in imagining that the intense heat and pressure of a dragon's digestive system could form a robust silica capable of thwarting the undead. Plus, our inner 5-year-old finds it hilarious to imagine the Unsullied marching into battle with poop in their hands.

Hot Pie Is Azor Ahai

Diehard Game of Thrones fans have eagerly awaited the introduction of Azor Ahai, a mythic figure from the R'hllor faith [16], who forged the Lightbrighter sword to save the world from the Great Other [17]. In the novels, Melisandre claims "Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone."

According to a tongue-and-cheek theory [18] by TV Guide, this hero will reveal himself in the form of Hot Pie. Yes, that's right, the husky baker boy Ayra befriends when she escapes King's Landing during the first season. Sure, tons of other names have surfaced, from Sandor Clegane to Davos Seaworth [19], but who better to be born of smoke and salt than a baker keen on making wolf-shaped bread? Remember, we last see Hot Pie during the second episode of the seventh season — the same instalment where Melisandre explains the prophecy to Daenerys. Coincidence? We think not.

Obviously, this Hot Pie Azor theory only serves to poke fun at our love for predictions, but you have to admit the idea has some sentimental appeal . . . and it certainly made you look. But since Hot Pie's last episode is also the one where Missandei steps forward to clarify that the prophecy could refer to a male or a female, it's a safe bet that Daenerys arises as Azor Ahai [20] since Dragonstone is her birthplace (which is literally the island of smoke and salt). Even still, fans should keep their eyes open for a curveball [21]. Who is to say the Azor returns as a human? Why not an animal like Drogon? [22] After all, he was born in the fire of Drogo's funeral pyre under the rain of his mother's salt-laden tears.

Hodour Is a Horse

Before "The Door" (season six, episode five) exposed us to the tragic meaning behind "Hodour," fans struggled to understand how Wyllis became mentally damaged. Some believed a horse kicked young Wyllis in the head. Others, like Reddit user gbinasia, suggested Wyllis was a warg who would inhabit Lyanna Stark's white horse [23]. Wyllis would use the opportunity to gain affection from Lyanna and delight in the freedom of roaming the countryside. However, as time passed, Wyllis came close to losing himself in the horse's mind or perhaps the horse's mind collapsed under the weight of numerous wargs, leaving a half-man, half-animal "Hodour" hybrid behind. Until the truth surfaced, this idea of a weakened mind state — a boy trapped between his own mind and the horse — provided a relatively plausible explanation as to why Bran could warg into Hodour. Unfortunately, the truth proves much more tragic [24].

Lord Varys Is a Merman

Have you always figured there's something fishy about Lord Varys? Word on the street is he's a merman [25] — well, merlings are how they're addressed in the novels. While this theory looks absurd at first glance (and has been refuted several times over by actor Conleth Hill [26]), the supporting evidence is overwhelming.

According to Nerdist, this theory originates back to a user named Nightflyer [27] on the A Song of Ice and Fire Wiki. The vast amount of information gathered to support this claim rests on two main events from the show. In season one, Arya hears Lord Varys and Illyrio conspiring in passages under the Red Keep. Once the pair are out of earshot, she discovers a hidden well that ensures a discreet way in and out of the kingdom. The assumption is that this concealed waterway speaks to Varys's preferred mode of travel.

In the second season, Tyrion threatens to have Varys thrown into the sea and our potential merman replies, "You might be disappointed in the results. Storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling."

We could go on, but think about it: we never get a clear view of Varys's (aquatic!) lower body because he keeps himself covered in flowing robes. We rest our case.

For those interested in reading more, Reddit user AllegraGeller combined much of the theory's evidence into one thread [28].

Roose Bolton Is a Vampire

Another fan theory that's probably not true but makes a whole lot of sense is that Roose Bolton is a vampire. Sure, we know season six unfolds with Ramsay Bolton stabbing his father in the chest, but that doesn't totally dispel this notion. After all, the dagger could have contained Valyrian steel [29], which is known to kill almost everything.

As outlined by Reddit user Megatron_McLargeHuge, most of the support for this theory comes from the series of novels [30]. In the first book, George RR Martin describes Roose as follows: "His eyes were curiously pale, almost without colour, and his look disturbing." There's also the fact that the Roose Bolton of the novels regularly takes leeches because "Frequent leechings are the secret of a long life. A man must purge himself of bad blood." The text also mentions that he barely eats and that, when he does consume food, he's known to use bread to sop up the blood from his rare meat. Moreover, Roose Bolton's sigil in the books and on the show is the flayed man. Some fans pinpoint this as an indicator that Roose needs to skin his enemies and wear their human pelts as disguises to conceal his eternal life.

Not to mention, the show has featured every mythical creature imaginable — dragons, zombies, werewolves (direwolves), witches, and even Qyburn's monstrous resurrection of the Mountain feels Frankenstein-esque. Why not a vampire? Obviously, Roose isn't a traditional version of the creature because we see him in daylight, but the threads are there [31] for those fans who want to believe.

Game of Thrones Is a Westworld Themepark

Westeros and Westworld. Sound an awful lot alike, don't they? Not to mention, both HBO shows pride themselves on their violent delights with violent ends [32]. Perhaps that's why in October 2016, Entertainment Weekly reported that author George RR Martin spoke with Lisa Joy and Jonathan Nolan [33], Westworld's executive producers, about a crossover. Picture it: one of the Delos Corporation's six theme parks [34] modelled after Westeros.

Of course, this didn't happen because combining the shows would certainly dilute their ability to effectively stand on their own and strain the suspension of disbelief the mind requires to immerse in such high-concept fiction. Nevertheless, fans have drawn several correlations [35] between the two programs, like how the wall of faces in Ford's office mirror the Hall of Faces kept by the Faceless Men or how the cowboy pin Logan wears in season one looks remarkably similar to the pin worn by the Hand of the Queen. This could be mere coincidence, or maybe they're simply Joy and Nolan's homages to a crossover idea that was too good to abandon entirely. So while this isn't a theory we can take seriously, wouldn't it be funny if Jon Snow realised Melisandre's resurrection spell worked because he's a rebooted robot?


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