Kenny Ortega, the mastermind behind High School Musical [1] and the Descendants [2] films, landed himself another gem with Julie and the Phantoms [3]. Led by breakout star Madison Reyes [4], the Netflix series follows a musically gifted girl as she reclaims her voice after her mother's death with the help of a ghost boy band. Julie and the Phantoms has all it needs to become a teen staple: singing heartthrobs, adorably close best friends, and tear-jerking scenes that aren't so heavy they ruin the mood. But apart from the story, the show's original soundtrack [5] is enough to make it a memorable watch.
If the United States wasn't grappling with a pandemic, Julie and her ghost band would be the first musical act I would petition to launch a nationwide tour. That is, of course, if they were real. This isn't the first time I've wished a fictitious singer or group existed in the real world, and given my deep passion for musicals, it won't be the last. Since concerts of any sort, real or fake, seem like a distant pipe dream given the state of things, I find no harm in thinking up my dream festival lineup overloaded with musicians who don't exist. Alongside Julie and the Phantoms, here are 10 more acts I hope science can one day bring to life.
Mouse Rat From Parks and Recreation
Chris Pratt served up some of the best Parks and Recreation moments as the musically inclined, bumbling fool Andy Dwyer. As the leader of Pawnee's hottest band, Mouse Rat, Andy fronted anthems including "Catch Your Dreams" and "5,000 Candles in the Wind." Andy wasn't the best singer, but the songs were catchy, and I'd take any excuse to be in the same space as the indomitable Leslie Knope.
Sing! Ensemble From Sing!
I've always been a sucker for kids' movies, and the idea to put Tori Kelly's domineering, breathtaking vocals in the body of a shy, cartoon elephant was a stroke of genius. Sing! is full of barnyard animals tuned pop stars, and Kelly's Meena with an opening performance from pop pigs Gunter and Rosalita are just what the veterinarian ordered.
Fire Saga From Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Will Ferrell [6] isn't a novice to taking on a musical persona (cue the drum-set scene from Step Brothers), but his portrayal of Fire Saga frontman Lars Erickssong beside Rachel McAdam's much more talented Sigrit Ericksdóttir (singing voiced by Molly Sandén). Nearly every performance spells disaster for this duo, and though I doubt they'd make it through their set list, a ticket to the inevitable train wreck is compensation enough.
Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly From Chicago
Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly are the epitome of murderess allure, and once they both escape the big house, these Chicago vixens take their gun-inspired musical act on the road. The '20s aesthetics and lore of women dodging time for crimes they did in fact commit would add exhilaration to an already musically sound show.
Chip Skylark From The Fairly OddParents
Chip Skylark isn't a prominent character in Nickelodeon's The Fairly OddParents, but his gob-smacking single "My Shiny Teeth" likely convinced many kids, including myself, to brush their pearly whites. I also can't forget the lyrical genius found in "Icky Vicky." He also exudes classic boy-bander energy, which would swoon tween girls into all the best hygiene practices.
Stillwater From Almost Famous
Rock lived its best days during the height of 1960s counterculture, but fictitious band Stillwater are just finding their sea legs as rock 'n' roll is on its deathbed. The Almost Famous group live for the music . . . but also for the girls and other vices that come along with life on the road. In the glimpses when they do sing numbers like "Fever Dog," the band show real promise to turn on crowds.
Sex Bob-Omb From Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Scott Pilgrim does't have much going for him, but his indie rock band, Sex Bob-Omb, earns him as much edge as his slender, nerdy frame could hope to get. Their so-loud-hopefully-you-won't-hear sound is a focal point of the film, and a live show would be memorable, if not enjoyable. Bonus points if their lyrics actually materialize out of thin air.
Josie and the Pussycats From Riverdale
There isn't just one iteration of Josie and the Pussycats; the group have been represented several times on screen since their debut in the Archie comics. Riverdale [7] sees the iconic girl group's most recent ensemble, led by Ashleigh Murray's Josie McCoy. Revamped to the modern world, these cats are a rotating group of women of colour, and their jingles are as catchy as ever.
Dreamgirls From Dreamgirls
This one is a bit more feasible than the others, because Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson [8], and Anika Noni Rose all sing their own roles. A joint concert with the three of them would be phenomenal, but the thick tension they bring to the characters of the Black 1960s Motown group makes them unforgettable.
Mitch & Mickey From A Mighty Wind
Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara have unfathomable comedic chemistry in Schitt's Creek [9], and believe it or not, they have the same chemistry as folk duo Mitch & Mickey in the Christopher Guest film A Mighty Wind. Playing a couple post-disastrous breakup, Mitch & Mickey's performances are infused with a quiet angst that can liven up even the more soothing folk numbers.