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Funniest Moments From Iliza Shlesinger's Comedy Specials

8 of Iliza Shlesinger's Best Jokes, in Case You Need More Reasons to Watch Her Specials

Stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger pushes boundaries and says the things we all secretly think, like when she compared the similarities and differences between french fries and handjobs: "Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I'll go with the fries." Clearly she's no stranger to awkward encounters with men and isn't afraid to put it all out there — and that's why we love her.

As a feminist comic, she's not only inspiring and a huge proponent of women doing, wearing, and saying whatever they want, but her four Netflix comedy specials are also straight-up hilarious. You just might find yourself rewatching them over and over so you can nail down some of her best quotes. My personal favourite? "I'm tired of feeling like a sexual deviant because I enjoy a little bit of mouth kissing with my red wine, okay?"

Want even more of Shlesinger? Not to worry: Netflix just ordered a six-episode show called The Iliza Shlesinger Sketch Show! Since that doesn't come out until 2020, though, you've got some time to binge her current stand-up on Netflix: War Paint, Freezing Hot, Confirmed Kills, and her most recent, Elder Millennial. Keep reading for some of her funniest moments to keep you busy in the meantime.

Image Source: Netflix

1. She Perfectly Describes the Panic of Someone You’re Dating Coming to Your Apartment

"It's a weird mental game, boys coming over for the first time. You're trying to reconcile the beautiful home your mother kept that you lived in growing up with the beautiful home that, like, Pinterest says you're supposed to have, and the fact that you have no f*cking money. You're like 'Should I buy a rug or eat dinner?'"

2. She Tells the Truth About How Most "Girls' Nights" Go

"Let's do a girls' night. Let's do just girls, no boys. Let's just all wear wedges and no boys. Let's not do boys, just girls. Just the girls. I'm like 'Why? We hate each other.'"

3. She Knows How Deep Our Love For Pinterest Runs

"If you saw how creepy we got with Pinterest, you wouldn't have us. We do it under the cloak of night. We wait. We get a Pumpkin Spice Latte and we go in and we log onto Pinterest. Gentlemen, just so you know, Pinterest for girls is like Call of Duty for guys."

4. She Clarifies Why Men Do (and Don't) Hit on Certain Women

"If we're all animals and men are lions and women are gazelles, what's a lion, if he's hungry, more likely to go after? The gazelle running at 90, unencumbered by a self-esteem issue, like 'I own my own home and have a PHD, hahaha. I enjoy witty banter, I just put a down payment on a boat, and I don't hate my daddy! ONWARD!' Or ⁠— remember he's hungry ⁠— or the gazelle with the broken hoof like 'Help! How does basketball work?'"

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5. She Explains How No One Likes to Admit When They're Hungry

"You can't admit you're hungry. That's admitting weakness. It's admitting defeat. 'Are you hungry? Me neither, so.' 'Are you hungry?' 'No, I ate last week so . . .' I could do this all day. I'm chewing on my tongue. It feels good enough."

6. lIiza on Why Women Can't Ever Be Creepy

"And I knew, intrinsically, I knew she would let me squeeze his leg. Because women don't fear other women. When it comes to children, not like the corporate ladder or dating or anything like that."

7. She Sums Up Why We All Hate Boarding Planes

"Has anyone else here ever had the misfortune of being stuck in boarding zone four? Like, that's when you have a seat, you have a ticket because you're holding it, but you're so low on the food chain, it pretty much goes like first class, luggage, terrorists, maybe you."

8. She Explains What a "Party Goblin" Is

"There's the kind of hungover where whatever happened the night before wasn't even your fault. Because you weren't mentally present for any of it. For 'twas not you that was in charge . . . 'twas your party goblin!"

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