I spent the first 16 years of my life kind of under the radar when it came to my body. I didn't have curves or a fuller chest like some Black women develop at a young age. And then it happened. Almost overnight. My small waist became accentuated, with my backside growing exponentially and what sometimes seemed like daily. In the blink of an eye, I went from an innocent 17-year-old to hypersexualized stereotype, perceived as a video vixen girl from music videos — oiled up, thick thighed, curvy, and small waisted. I'm 29 now, and not much has changed. Regardless of what I'm wearing, my curves always lead the way. I constantly get whistled at or catcalled inappropriately: "Damn shawty, how you fit all that?," "I U-turned so I could get another glance," or my favourite, "Well damn, I guess you can't take a compliment then." Fortunately, nothing violent has ever occurred from such encounters, but this is too often how it feels when you're a curvy Black woman.

I didn't pay for my curves. I didn't do hundreds of squats a day. And I definitely didn't eat a specific diet to get such curves. I was simply born with them, and it can be frustrating that my natural curves are often objectified. When I get dressed in the morning, I'm not only dressing for style but for appropriateness. Not work appropriate, but generally appropriate for the places I'll be that day, to avoid conflicts or comments that devalue and dismiss me as an object. Occasionally, I'll even avoid certain places where I know this unwanted attention will occur.

I enjoy wearing crop tops, but while out, I tend to tie a sweater around my waist to hide my rear end. In the winter, I'll wear loads of layers to minimize the appearance of my curves. I love my body [1] and I'm comfortable in my own skin, but being on the receiving end of these remarks daily is insulting and objectifying and can be harmful to Black women's self-esteem, often leading to body-image issues. Some Black women wear oversize clothing to cover up. Others find themselves working tirelessly to achieve unrealistic ideals to be accepted. They work out to have six-packs or shell out thousands to reduce or produce curves [2] and bigger bottoms. The pressure placed on Black women to have the shape of a "Black woman" can be exhausting, especially since the media tells us our bodies aren't desired or celebrated unless our features are on white bodies [3].

I'm not sure if this intense, unwanted scrutiny will ever go away, but I'd really like to see a world where Black women ignore society's standard for beauty and all the catcalling and live our natural curvy truths. I want Black women to understand that being a Black woman is great and deserves celebration, and I want society to grant us the lane to do that. To that end, I've gathered 11 stories from other Black women who share this push-and-pull feeling with their natural curves. Their experiences are here to inspire you to silence the noise and the stereotypes and embrace the body and curves you were born with.

Shaleeta "SheShe" Pendleton, Stylist and Creative Director

"Since I was a child, I was always told to 'cover up.' I was always the curvy girl with thick thighs and large breasts, but publicly, I never showed off my body because it was instilled in me to never do so. I was never allowed to wear tight clothing, short skirts, or any revealing clothing growing up because of my curves. I became obsessed with fashion because of these restrictions, and I started to embody my creative side. As an adult, I stopped caring about what I would look like to society and I began embracing my curves and my feminine side. Still a tomboy at heart, I have fallen in love with myself and I dress how I want to with no second thoughts, fully embracing my body and creativity."

AJ Harrison, Wellness Advocate

"Wearing tight clothing has never been something I truly enjoyed; I didn't want to attract attention to myself . . . not that kind of attention, anyway. It wasn't until [last May on a weekend trip] when I felt comfortable to not only pack a few fitted outfits but also commit to wearing them when we went out to celebrate. Ultimately, I was at ease because I knew my own intentions and I felt so good wearing something that made me feel beautiful. I realised that all these years, I was so focussed on other people's opinions, and never focussed on how something like a simple and sexy dress made me feel. I decided to focus on what makes me feel good, and I certainly do not regret that decision."

Ananda Mallory, Educator and Interior Designer

"The first time I remember being hit on, it was a catcall from a man in his 20s; I was in sixth grade. I have always been a bigger girl, and at 12 years old, my 5'6" frame already boasted thick thighs and large breasts. From then on, I would wear large hoodies and skirts down to my ankles in order not to attract this attention. As a woman in my early 20s, I envied the less-curvy girls with smaller breasts. I so wished I could wear those low V-necks and not look like I was trying to show cleavage. I realised at 25 years old that my curvy body didn't need to look less sexy, less suggestive, or any different in order for me to sport crop tops, low shirts, or string bikinis."

Cindy-Lee Marsh, Actress and Activist

"I grew up a tomboy and not too into clothes. I noticed my curves towards the end of high school. I really did not like the attention I got. It made me uncomfortable. This continued into college. I'd say that my acceptance of my curves has come in the last five years. A big part is understanding that God gave me this body, and you know what, I'm going to love it! Another is [that] I've fallen in love with fitness. And I love clothes! I wear what I want and try to not get bothered when people make comments."

Ambryss Haymond, Claims Examiner and Producer

"I was in middle school when I realised I had more curves than other girls, especially other ethnicities, and while I got stares from girls in the locker room during PE — good or bad — the boys, mainly Black, loved them! They just weren't mature enough to differentiate between respectful and disrespectful attention. It was high school where the boys were a little more mature and the girls [were] more embracing so it naturally made me love myself more!"

Olivia Baskett-Naranjo, Account Executive

"I've always craved a toned stomach, levitated ass, and perky breasts that get thrown in your face from the ripe age of 8. I've always struggled with my weight and how I see myself. At my chubbiest and smallest (size two), I always felt like an outcast. As my body and mentality has shifted over the years, I now appreciate the imperfections that make me who I am. I still have those down days, but step by step, I'm able to look in the mirror and find beauty in my discomfort."

Mercy Daramola, Higher Education Administrator

"I've had a love/hate relationship with my body, being much bigger on the bottom and smaller on top, so over the years, I defaulted to covering up my body to avoid the frustration of trying to find clothes that flatter and comparing myself to others who seem to be able to dress themselves more easily. Ironically, I found my love for my curves in helping others dress theirs! I recently started a styling business, and so much of my work has been helping others find the beauty in their bodies, and slowly I found myself listening to my own advice. It's still a challenge at times, but one thing I realised: no amount of hiding my curves or fantasizing [that] they were different will change them in a day, so I might as well embrace and celebrate them, because tomorrow's not promised!"

Jasmyn Peterson, Account Executive

"I remember I was in high school the first time I became really aware of how stereotypes about Black women's bodies were impacting how people viewed me. One of the fashion trends I've clung to since then was oversized clothes, styling boyfriend jeans and oversized T-shirts and feeling grateful that they were still on trend. I wanted to cover my thighs and my butt because bodies like mine are rarely celebrated, only sexualized. The bike-short trend was probably my first step into embracing my thicker thighs, and from there, it's been fun to explore new silhouettes that accentuate my body instead of covering it, like with these flare jeans, a style I've always been terrified to try for myself!"

Alicia Bella, Actress and Activist

"Growing up in a predominately white suburban town, I was conditioned to believe that the common goal among friends was to be thin. Flat stomach? You're killing it. Girls would caption pictures of their thighs, 'hot dogs or legs?,' flaunting how small they were. It wasn't until I moved to New York City that I was given the space to explore my figure and learn that having a body with curves could also be celebrated."

Regina Milton, M.S., Manager

"I have had a big booty for as long as I can remember. I hated it, and the men it attracted, which is why I tried to hide it with long shirts. So many women get their butts done to look like mine. After observing European standards of beauty fade . . . I walk confidently because I know that I am a natural beauty."

Olivia Battle, Actress and Stylist

"I think the hardest part about dressing for the body that I have was feeling like I HAD to cover up in order to be respectful. I have always been hypersexualized due to having a double D cup. While to me that means that finding a shirt that fits right is gonna be a nightmare, to other people it looks like I want all the male attention in the world, and IT SUCKED. I started by telling myself that my body and the way it is shaped is NOT inherently slutty or sexual. It's the way people have chosen to view women that is the problem. So I started to dress the way that flattered my shape and my own aesthetic. Never been happier."