A little flashback Friday action for you. This caption will be long and won't fit, so if you'd like to read please find the rest in the comment section....The left side was me at the start of the peak of my career. My first proper fashion week where I was actually the size I needed to be. I was booking amazing shows that one never thinks they actually could, walking with girls who I once looked up to, it was a serious adrenaline rush...but after fainting one night in my apt whilst preparing one of my very low cal meals (I think it was 20 pieces of steamed edamame if I remember correctly), I called it quits with the diet and workout regime I was put on and decided I could do it on my own. I thought to myself, I can still be this thin, but I'll just eat a little more so I don't feel so horrible. Well, eating a little more turned into eating nearly a bag full of almonds, which then turned into eating full size meals, which then turned into a full blown binge. I was craving every single food you could imagine and I was giving in to every craving even though I knew this was such an important time in my career. I made it through NYFW okay, no one had noticed any weight gain, but by the time I had gotten the LFW I could see the pounds starting to show both in the mirror and on the measuring tape, but I kept quiet obviously not wanting to sabotage myself. I found myself going to the grocery store and picking up raw vegetables to try and make up for the near two week binge I had in NY, but I didn't see any weight coming off no matter how "healthy" I was eating and no matter how many workouts I fit in. MFW came and I knew I was bigger and by bigger I mean a 35.5in hip rather than the 34.5in hip I started with in NY, I played it cool and just pretended everything was normal. I did end up booking shows, Dolce & Gabbana being one of them. Which I afterwards received online criticism about my thighs looking fat...Anyways PFW came about, and I found it impossible to resist those chocolate croissants 🙊 I went on many a casting with one exclusive option being on my schedule, but after meeting the client I knew the reason for me not nailing the gig, my size...
With a number of women taking to Instagram to share the truth behind real and posed pictures with their two-second transformations, our feeds are becoming inspiring platforms of inclusivity for all women. Model, Liz Golden-Bhojwani added her take to the mix by sharing a before-and-after shot accompanied by a touching post about how struggles with her body weight led her away from the fashion industry and down a difficult path to self-love.
The side-by-side shots are three years apart and feature a picture of Liz during the height of her high-fashion career, when she was publicly praised as one of Vogue's freshman model class of 2013, and her now. Liz explains how she maintained such a low body weight, writing "In 2012 I was having about 500 calories a day."
After struggling to suppress her appetite and maintain the small measurements required to walk shows during fashion week, the model found herself in a spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing. "I don't know why of all people I was just unable to keep up with the diets and the regimes. I thought I was weak minded, I didn't care enough, or maybe I just didn't want it enough. I beat myself up for a long time, playing it over and over again in my head how I completely failed. So much was right there in front of me, and I just let it go because I could not let go of my worst enemy, FOOD."
Taking a break from the high-fashion world led to Liz's realisation that body size and weight don't determine her life or her career aspirations, explaining in the caption, "One day I just thought... why am I fighting against my body? Why don't I just go in the same direction? Stop forcing my own agenda and just listen to my body. And that's what I did, slowly slowly I was coming into my true body form. My natural self, not my forced self."
If you're struggling to find some body positivity right now, Liz's words will undoubtedly inspire you to love yourself a little more, because just like the rest of us, her body is "Not perfect, not show ready or VS ready, not the best, but it is mine and my soul is happy."