For 3 Weeks, I Gave Up Intermittent Fasting For Intuitive Eating and Here's Why I Hated It

I went all in. I left Kerry's office at noon on a Tuesday and ate a granola bar that was in my car just because — I wasn't even hungry for lunch yet. I came home and raided my snack cabinet, ate my meal-prepped kale salad, and then baked chocolate banana oatmeal bread AND pumpkin pillow cookies with my kids. I probably ate three huge pieces of the bread along with four cookies. Obviously, I wasn't even hungry for dinner, but I ate it anyway.

I realise that this is NOT intuitive eating done properly, but Kerry explained that there's a transition period, that can last from a few days to a few weeks, where you might just go all out and eat chocolate cupcakes for dinner and devour an entire bag of tortilla chips with guac. She said that after a while, you know eating that way won't make you feel good, and self-regulation will kick in. You'll be able to indulge your cravings when you want to, but for the most part, you'll feel compelled to choose healthy foods, stick to appropriate portion sizes, eat when you're hungry, and stop when you're full.

That night I felt like absolute crap — so bloated and with abdominal pains from overeating, that I had a terrible night of sleep. I woke up still bloated and in pain, so I had to skip CrossFit. I ate all that day, and all through the weekend — no restrictions on what foods I ate, how much, or when.

By the end of the first week, I was hating intuitive eating because it brought back all my old habits. I was having trouble saying no to certain foods I normally would easily turn down, knowing they'd make me super bloated, and I was eating to the point of feeling uncomfortably full. But I pressed on, hoping by week two, the self-regulation Kerry talked about would begin.

Week two was more of the same as week one. I baked and cooked a ton, went out to eat, found bagels the size of my face, ate chocolate with my breakfast. I ate dessert practically every night whether it was an enormous brownie sundae or just a handful of Trader Joe's dark-chocolate-covered almonds.

It was magical, actually. I hadn't felt that sense of freedom with food since before I went on my first diet when I was 12 years old. To give myself permission to reject diet culture and eat whatever I wanted felt exhilarating.

OK, so emotionally, I felt free and alive, but physically, I felt like absolute sh*t. My bloating was out of control, I didn't feel like exercising, and just felt foggy-headed and lethargic from eating all day long. The worst part was that I felt stressed and out of control. Self-regulation was definitely not happening for me.