POPSUGAR UK

I Don't Want to Be Made to Feel Guilty For Not Wearing A Menstrual Cup

10/10/2020 - 07:35 AM

With society increasingly focusing on the environmental impact of period products, people are being encouraged to use menstrual cups [1]. But this often leaves those who have vaginismus [2] out of the conversation.

I'm someone who struggles with vaginismus myself, which means that using a tampon causes a lot of stress for me — let alone using a menstrual cup. I remember a particular memory that is stained with frustration. I was crouched in a pub bathroom as my period had decided to surprise me on a night out. One of my best friends was on the other side of the door as she tried to guide me in how to insert a tampon. But no matter how much I tried, it kept hitting a "wall."

Not being able to use a tampon might sound trivial, but there is nothing more heartbreaking and emotional than having your own body refuse to cooperate with you.

For those unaware, vaginismus is a physiological condition that can be caused by a multitude of things, such as abuse, infection, childbirth, or a variety of other natural or traumatic events. It results in the involuntary contraction of muscles around the opening of the vagina, which means the penetration and insertion of pretty much anything can be either really painful or extremely uncomfortable.

Not being able to use a tampon might sound trivial, but there is nothing more heartbreaking and emotional than having your own body refuse to cooperate with you. I was choking back tears in that pub bathroom, so frustrated that I couldn't do something I thought all period-havers had the ability to do. I felt defeated and broken.

This is why I find the current conversation around menstrual cups nowhere near inclusive enough. The focus is too often on them being the only environmentally friendly option when there's a bevy of other alternatives [3] out there — such as period underwear [4] and environmentally friendly pads [5].

Each person's journey with their body is different, and it's important that an individual finds what works best for them — no matter society's expectations.

It was years before I learned that there were period products on the market that didn't involve insertion, and I'd feel so much guilt and shame over my inability to use menstrual cups that I would often use my birth control to skip my period instead. Then add to that the guilt I've felt for buying generic pads from the chemist. These feelings are driven home by articles that say menstrual cups are the best period-product alternative, and the many writers who say they "don't understand" why everyone isn't wearing one.

The irony isn't lost on me that I've been made to feel shame for a personal condition — and how I choose to cope with it — from those who claim to be period positive, especially when women have been shamed for their periods for as long as I can remember.

Even though I believe open and positive conversations around periods are important, we sometimes seem to forget that your period is something extremely personal. Each person's journey with their body is different, and it's important that an individual finds what works best for them — no matter society's expectations.

Modibodi Sensual High-Waist Bikini

These period pants from Modibodi [6] (£24) have been designed to hold three-to-four tampons worth of blood and can also be worn if you have heavy discharge or suffer from light bladder leaks. They have a soft lace waistband and higher leg that sits on the hip. They are available in five colours.

Grace and Green Night Pads

The Grace and Green Night Pads [7] (£6) have been designed to be ultrathin and super absorbent with wings that protect you overnight. They are made from 100-percent organic cotton, with the plant-based, leak-proof backing making them completely biodegradable.

Wear 'Em Out Medium-Flow Reusable Sanitary Towel

The Wear 'Em Out Medium-Flow Reusable Sanitary Towel [8] (£9) is perfect for when you're experiencing a medium flow. The brand also has options for days when your period is heavier. All of their pads have wings with double nickel-free poppers for a nice and secure fit.

Wuka Period Pants Heavy-Flow Period Pants

Wuka Period Pants Heavy-Flow Period Pants [9] (£25) are carbon neutral, softer than cotton, and vegan-friendly. They can be worn for up to eight hours on light days and for four-to-six hours on heavy days or all night. They can also hold at least 20 ml of period flow or light leaks, which is around four tampons worth.

&Sisters Heavy Sanitary Pads

The &Sisters Sanitary Pads [10] (£5) have been made for nighttime flow and heavier period days. They have been made with sustainably produced, natural, and organic cotton, which makes them completely biodegradable. They're super absorbent and, thanks to the protective wings, have a really secure fit.


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https://www.popsugar.co.uk/fitness/vaginismus-and-menstrual-cups-essay-47854941