Where do I even begin? No, really, where does one begin when they're presented with a giant charcuterie board [1] made to feed a small village? Chrissy Teigen faced this exact delicious dilemma on Dec. 18 when she was gifted two massive snack boards (stretching about 12 feet wide) covered in finely-sliced meats, colourful veggies, and enough fruit to stock a grocery store [2]. While I sat overwhelmed, staring at this monster of a charcuterie board on her Instagram Stories, Chrissy knew exactly what to do and started with a cracker, some crumbly cheese, and a drizzle of honey — a truly excellent choice.
But a closer look at the spread poses a few interesting questions. First of all, the boards make a gorgeous centrepiece, but how is one supposed to store that much produce? Also, what is she supposed to do with all that whole fruit? Chrissy has mountains of salami and prosciutto to get through. Does it look like she has time to cut fruit? Finally, is she going to have to commit to eating cheese and crackers for the next few weeks? If so, I'll happily join her in her quest from the comfort of my couch.
Chrissy did hint that she's planning to share the board, so at least she doesn't have to try to wolf down 11 blocks of cheese on her own. Still, we wish her the best of luck in finishing off this party-sized meal. Enjoy a tour of the ridiculously huge charcturerie board here, and maybe bring a mini jarcuterie treat [3] for yourself, because that snack selection is, as Chrissy puts it, "bonkers."
We Start With a Basic Charcuterie Spread: Prosciutto, Soft Cheese, Crackers, Nuts, etc.
But the Board Continues With Neatly-Sliced Hard Cheese, Persimmons, Grapes, and More!
What's This? Olives, Apples, Salami, and Dried Fruit? Don't Mind If We Do
Whoo! Chrissy Went Straight for the Cheese — a Fantastic Decision
Ah, Yes, Chrissy, We Would Like a Close-Up of the Orange Slices and Tiny Jars of Honey
OK, But How Do We Get Our Hands on That Many Different Kinds of Crackers?
We're Both Hungry and Exhausted Looking at Every Inch of This Board — Dibs on the Cheddar!
