19 Quotes Paris Hilton Blessed Us With in Her New Cooking Show, Including "These Spoons Are Brutal"

Paris Hilton is many things: a socialite, model, singer, actress, fragrance maker, and more. But did you know that she's also a good cook? Paris debuted her cooking show, Cooking with Paris, on YouTube on Jan. 13, and we are already obsessed. Not only does she bring her signature humour while she shows her fans how to make her "infamous" lasagna, but the end product actually looks pretty delicious. The best part of the entire thing, however, is her ability to create iconic catchphrases every few sentences. Seriously, any and all real housewives should take note. Keep reading for the best ones from episode one that we plan on putting on towels, hats, shirts, and more, because they're just that good.

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• "As you all know — well, maybe not all of you know — but the people who do know, know that I'm am amazing cook."
• "This is my little assistant today — Diamond Baby. Killing it in her apron."
• "Don't break them in half or it just ruins the lasagna vibe."
• "It's true. I am allergic to bullshit."
• "I wish this [cheese] was already shredded, but whatever. Life could be worse."
• "I'm scared I'm gonna start grinding my fingers off. That's why I wear my chef gloves. They're usually for sliving [slaying + living your best life], but now that it's 2020, you're still gonna see sliving, but sliving it in a different way."
• "Do not use the hashtag #ParisLasagna, it sounds beyond."
• "There's so many different types of cheeses now that it's not normal, but it's cool."
• "All these spoons are brutal."
• "Careful if you have long hair, 'cause it could light on fire."
• "Flip it [the meat]. You want to make it tan."
• "Who knows what's in these sewers. It's beyond."
• "I have no idea how much [to put in], but I love doing this much: 11, because I love 11:11. So it's good luck."
• "Just grab any other spices. Himalayan Pink Salt — that sounds cool."
• "This is what I do when I cook — my unicorn mist. Of course not near the food."
• "Ugh, OK, I was supposed to chop these onions and garlic, but I feel my lasagne should not have onion or garlic in it."
• "I actually brought these [sunglasses], so if I was gonna cut onions, I'd wear them. Usually I do that when I cut onions. It kinda helps with tears or just, I don't know, ruining your mascara."
• "Lasagna's, like, very hard to make. Well, actually, I don't think it is, but people think it is, but it's actually really fun and really easy. But I guess it is a lot of steps compared to making toast or something."
• "Always stay hydrated."