If you've collected your fair share of plants [1] over the years (or past few months), it's safe to say you've committed to being a plant parent — congratulations! Being a green mom or dad is awesome, and it comes with all sorts of quirks, like talking to your plants, playing music for them, and naming them, among other things. Of course, you don't have to do all three, but identifying your leafy greens by name definitely has its benefits.
Not only will humanizing your plants help you speak out loud to them more often (which is good!), but it'll remind you of your plant's weird necessities . . . like how Christofern likes indirect sunlight and how Teeny Weeny only needs to be watered a few times a week. It takes some getting used to, but once you've established your green kids' names, your care for them [2] will only get better. If you're interested, have a look at a few that we've come up with, ahead.
Regina George
"On Wednesdays, we wear pink." — Mean Girls [3]
Holly Golightly
For a plant whose nickname is string of pearls, the name Holly Golightly seems appropriate. (Rewatch Breakfast at Tiffany's if you don't get it!)
Monterey Jack
Since monsteras are known as "swiss cheese plants," we just had to give it a cheesy name.
David Rose
You'd have to name your greenovia dodrentalis — succulents that resemble roses — after the true star of Schitt's Creek [4]. Ew, David!
Gillyweed
Gillyweed is a plant from Harry Potter [5] that allows humans to breathe underwater when it's consumed.
Kitty Purry
Since prayer plants are non-toxic to pets, you might as well name one after Katy Perry [6]'s cat, Kitty Purry.
Stretch Armstrong
For a rubber plant, the name of this retro toy makes a great name idea.
Christofern
Like Christopher, but with fern at the end. It sounds very prestigious, but it fits ferns perfectly!
Prick
Don't get too close to your cactus, it may prick you!
Teeny Weeny
She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini . . . but "she" is a plant. If you remember the Yoplait Yoghurt commercial or know the song, you'll get it.
Velvis
The philodendron micans' leaves are so soft, they feel like velvet. Take it up a notch with a name inspired by a velvet Elvis painting.
Salad
OK so you're not going to eat your plant as salad, but how funny is it to name it one?
Fernie Sanders
Feel the Bern.
Creep
"So I creep, yeah, just creepin' on . . ." This trailing plant has a mind of its own, hence the name Creep. Playing TLC's "Creep" to your plant is a nonnegotiable.
Morgan Treeman
We can almost hear Morgan Freeman [7]'s calm voice just looking at this tree.
Devil's Snare
Another name from the Harry Potter [8] series, a devil's snare plant is known to constrict or strangle anything that comes in its path.
Melonie
The watermelon peperomia is known for its watermelon-esque design, hence the name, Melonie.
Silver Fox
The silver pothos' leaves develop a cool silvery design, making the name "Silver Fox" totally appropriate.
Nervous Nancy
Nervous Nancy only makes sense for a plant nicknamed a "nerve plant."
Mandrake
Harry Potter [9] stans . . . need I explain? A mandrake plant is a loud plant with a human-like root in the Harry Potter series.
Tree Diddy
Just look at this tree, it's a total puff daddy.
Orlando Bloom
Chinese evergreens will occasionally produce flowers, so if you want it to bloom, name it after the actor.
Robert Planttinson
If you're an R-Patz fan, the name Robert Planttinson will make your heart throb.
Medusa
In Greek mythology, Medusa had wild hair made out of venomous snakes. So naturally, this is a perfect name for a snake plant.
Figlicious
There's fergalicious, and then there's fiddle leaf figilicious.
Halleighhoya
This plant is called the hoya linearis, and you'll rejoice having it around your home.
Marty
Since this is called a zebra plant, it only makes sense to name it after Marty the zebra in Madagascar.
Charlotte
Charlotte's web is the cutest story, and spider plants are cute, so Charlotte it is!
Blue Ivy Carter
Because it'd be rude NOT to name your ivy plant after Beyoncé's daughter, Blue.
Bill
Money trees are supposed to bring good fortune, which is why naming it Bill (like a dollar bill) is so fitting.
Burnie Sanders
Sorry, we had to throw in another Bernie pun! When in doubt, heal your burns with a little aloe vera.