As per Moira's eccentric vocabulary [1], things get a little dangersome when a Rose is met with matters of the kitchen. When left to their own devices — nary a personal chef in sight — in their humble town of Schitt's Creek [2], the family is likely to be at a complete loss on how to follow their own family recipes and asking each other what burning smells like. Not to mention Alexis can tell the difference between 12 pints of raw milk and nearly $400 worth as easily as she can spot the difference in a veterinarian and a doctor. In true Schitt's Creek [3] fashion, the Roses always deliver their most memorable quotes in the face of total chaos, leaving us with a gold mine of lines that just make too much sense in the kitchen. Ahead, make like Twyla and give your Café Tropical — er, kitchen — a hilarious makeover with these Schitt's Creek-themed kitchen tea towels.
The Ahn-Chiladas Moira Rose Quote Tea Towel
The Ahn-Chiladas Moira Rose Quote Tea Towel [5] ($16) is the perfect touch for family ahn-chilada night.
Schitt’s Creek Inspired Dish Towel
This Schitt's Creek Inspired Dish Towel [6] ($14) will have you drying off with the sassy spirit of a David Rose who's asked thrice now for a towel.
Fold in the Cheese Kitchen Towel
Are any of us really sure how to fold in the cheese? Next time you find yourself looking like a disgruntled pelican in the kitchen, just look to the Fold in the Cheese Kitchen Towel [7] ($16) as a *super helpful* reminder from Moira to "just fold it in."
If You Say Fold in One More Time Towel
As the frustrated counterpart to the Fold in the Cheese Towel, we have the If You Say Fold in One More Time Towel [8] ($11) — we hear you, David.
This Wine Is Awful. Get Me Another Glass. Kitchen Towel
Wine-drinking Schitt's Creek [9] fans will find the This Wine Is Awful. Get Me Another Glass. Kitchen Towel [10] ($12) to be both hilarious and totally relatable.
Uninterested in That Opinion Kitchen Towel
Unsolicited cooking advice? Talk to the towel. The Uninterested in That Opinion Kitchen Towel [11] ($16) is a David Rose-approved way to passive-aggressively declare who runs this kitchen.
Schitt's Creek Inspired Kitchen Towel, What Does Burning Smell Like?
The Schitt's Creek Inspired Kitchen Towel, What Does Burning Smell Like? [12] ($12) is perfect for the culinarian with the skills of a balatron from Barnum & Bailey.
Ew, David Schitt's Creek Towel
A collection of Schitt's Creek merchandise [13] would be positively duplicitous without this classic line. The Ew, David Schitt's Creek Towel [14] ($6) features Alexis's signature tagline atop a David Rose visage.
Favourite SC's Quotes Kitchen Towel, But Thank You
The Favourite SC's Quotes Kitchen Towel, But Thank You [15] ($25) comes in a two-towel bundle and is giving off heavy "I'm very uninterested in that opinion" vibes.
Schitt's Creek Towel, Ew, Dishes
The Schitt's Creek Towel, Ew Dishes [16] ($10, originally $11) describes exactly how we feel after whipping up an enormous Schitt-sized family meal. Sloppy Jocelyns anyone?
Eat Glass Kitchen Towel
You may have a hard time convincing anyone to try your cooking with the Eat Glass Kitchen Towel [17] ($16) hanging over the oven — unless they're also a Schitt's Creek [18] fan. In which case they might just smile and tell you to lick rust.
Nom Nom For Us Tea Towel
The Nom Nom For Us Tea Towel [19] ($8) is as delightfully cheery as Alexis getting to sample cheese for Rose Apothecary [20] all afternoon.
A Heavy Salad Might as Well Be a Casserole | Moira Rose Quote Flour Sack Towel
The A Heavy Salad Might as Well Be a Casserole Moira Rose Quote Flour Sack Towel [21] ($16) comes from the painfully awkward mother-daughter lunch episode. Without the help of her notecards, Moira resorts to a clumsy comment on Alexis's salad, which she loves having for lunch because it's "not heavy".
Schitt's Creek Inspired Kitchen Towel, Love That Journey For You
The Schitt's Creek Inspired Kitchen Towel, Love That Journey For You [22] ($12) is like having a (lalala little bit) Alexis in your kitchen cheering you on in all of your culinary escapades.
Stop Acting Like a Disgruntled Pelican Kitchen Towel
Family dinners are not the time for pettifogging. Whether it's Thanksgiving or otherwise that's got your relatives in a tiff at the supper table, give them a gentle reminder to quit being so constantly irksome with the Stop Acting Like a Disgruntled Pelican Kitchen Towel [23] ($16).
Schitt's Creek Inspired Dish Towel
Though not opposed to quick confabulating in a back room with Ronnie, Moira does not stand for gossip! After all, it is "the devil's telephone" and it's "best to just hang up". Display her insightful words with the Schitt's Creek Inspired Dish Towel [24] ($14).
You're Simply the Best Kitchen Towel
Celebrate your love like David and Patrick with this You're Simply the Best Kitchen Towel [25] ($16).
Schitt's Creek Inspired Kitchen Towel, Moira Rose
When it comes to unpretentious wineries from a local vintner, you'll remember the experience and you'll remember the name — at least, in Moira's case the essence of the name. The Schitt's Creek Inspired Kitchen Towel, Moira Rose [26] ($12) fits perfectly into the theme, and tone, and mise en scéne of a (fruit) wine and cheese (ball) night.
Best Wishes Warmest Regards David Rose Quote Flour Sack Towel
Another of David's many snappy quips, we have the seemingly sincere message on the Best Wishes Warmest Regards David Rose Quote Flour Sack Towel [27] ($16).
Schitt's Creek Inspired Dish Towel
Rose Apothecary is stocked with a myriad of fresh and locally sourced coffees, teas, cheeses, and produce items, making the Schitt's Creek Inspired Dish Towel [28] ($14) an all-too-fitting addition to a kitchen pantry.