Anal sex might sound intimidating to some, but it's definitely worth exploring or at least being open-minded about. Why? You may even learn that you can orgasm from bum play. Penetrative anal sex is especially great for hitting the A-spot, which can result in intense Os for some being such a pressure-sensitive area.
If you and your partner are considering trying anal sex for the very first time, know that it can be difficult to nail it on a whim. As hot as it'd be to try in the heat of the moment (and succeed), it takes patience and practice and often requires a lot of preparation. Your anus is a much tighter opening that doesn't self-lubricate, which means you'll need some supplies to make it more pleasurable than painful. To make the process as smooth as possible, I asked founder of b-Vibe anal products, Alicia Sinclair, for some beginner tips to consider before your first time delving into the world of anal play. Here are seven ways to help you get started, straight from the sex expert herself.
1. Get your brain on board.
"There is a lot of misinformation, taboo, and stereotypes that can confuse and cause fear. And what's the first thing your body (and backside) does when you're scared? It tightens up. Which is no way to welcome in a penetrative object. Being mentally relaxed, well-educated, and consensually excited to try anal is essential."
2. Get to know your booty first.
"Before partners get involved, go it alone. Massage the outside of your anus and maybe even dip the tip of your finger in your own bum while you're alone in the shower."
3. Toy with it.
"A small vibrating butt plug, like our Novice Plug, is a great option because it's about the size of a finger and is a good transition from fingers to toys. If you're already past fingers and want something slightly larger, try our Trio Plug, which is a medium-sized, flexible plug that offers incredibly powerful vibration.
"The amazing thing about vibration is that it's not only a pleasurable sensation, but it also relaxes muscles, exactly what you want to be doing. The added benefit of the Novice Plug/Trio Plug is the remote control, which allows a person to easily be in control of their experience. Or, if you so choose, you could hand the remote to another person. This adds fun to couple's play and can be a sensual power dynamic in the bedroom. Another fantastic option: our tapered vibrating anal beads, called Triplet. Triplet is great for beginners because the progressively larger, tapered beads allow beginners to start slow, with the just smallest bead, and gradually work towards the medium and larger bead."
4. Lube is your best friend.
"Your anus doesn't self-lubricate like the vagina does and the bum's tissues tend to be less elastic. This makes using lubricant for every kind of anal play essential. I suggest coconut oil for anal massage with the fingers, a water-based lubricant like Sliquid Sassy for anal play with silicone products, and silicone lube for a penetrative anal sex, glass sex toys, or stainless steel sex toys."
5. Going from zero to penis is a no-no!
"Try 'anal training' first to prepare your bum for inserting a penis or dildo. This is best done with several anal toys, graduating in size as you get more comfortable."
6. Know when you're ready.
"After you've experimented with your fingers, played with an appropriately sized butt plug or anal beads, and found that you enjoy the experience, then move to anal penetration with a penis or dildo (if that is your intended goal)."
7. It's not a race!
"These steps can happen over the course of a few hours, days, weeks, or more. When it comes to first-time anal sex, do what works and feels best for your body. A positive experience in the beginning enables positive — and pleasurable — experiences long-term."