There's no denying it: sex is pretty freaking awesome. Yet, sometimes you can't have sex with a partner, and masturbation is your best shot at having an orgasm [1]. Maybe you're single, your SO is away, or you're horny AF when no one's around. Instead of waiting in angst, you can seize the moment for solo pleasure [2] so you can still get yourself off when the mood strikes without needing to depend on someone else for some fun. Still, masturbation can be tricky, and it's harder to orgasm if you're not trying the best techniques [3]. These are a few winners for real ladies themselves who are in tune with their bodies and know what feels good.
Put Pressure on the Pelvis
"I don't know if this is common to all women, most women, some women, or only a few of us, but I need pressure against my pelvis in order to climax. Therefore, when I use my vibrator I lie face-down with the vibrator in my right hand, on my clitoris, and my left hand under my pelvis with my palm facing my body. As I press downward with my lower body, I apply pressure upward against my pelvis with my left hand. This helps me get off faster and more easily. I have tried lying on my back and pressing down against my pelvis with my hand, but this position doesn't work nearly as well."
Listen to Music
"Whenever I put on certain songs that make me horny, it totally works. When it's dead silent, it can be really awkward where I'll start to get nervous that my neighbours can hear me or the sound of the vibrator (which is probably not likely, but still!), and then I'm all in my head and can't orgasm. It's like I start to feel guilty. So, I turn on music to set the mood and drown out the noise. If I find a few songs that work for me, I don't mind always using them for a bit as a go-to because it works."
Think Back to Your Hottest Sex Scenes
"So with all the people I've slept with, there have been some OK performances, some horrible ones, and some amazing ones, and when I am masturbating, I'll replay some of those hotter moments in my mind. Even if it's with an ex, it doesn't matter because it's not so much about needing to get back together or be with him again but more about how great the sex was. Plus, sometimes I'll just swap for a current partner I'm with or picture a stranger, but keep the same movements or scene itself. It was super hot and got me off then, so it'll get me off now, too."
Read Online Erotica
"I don't need sex toys, but I do need words. I'll lay on my stomach, slip my fingers in, and read online erotica in a book or online from online erotica sites [4] that are free resources for sexy stories that are fictional or real life on people's blogs. In about 10 minutes, I'm already ready to come."
Light a Candle
"I like when the room smells nice and the candle gives a nice glow that makes the room really sexy and intimate. It's a way to make masturbating more sensual and romantic, since it's just for myself and not with a partner. And then the room smells nice afterward so there's an extra benefit. I really like choosing woodsy types or lavender, which makes me feel really relaxed."
Do It Every Day
"I find masturbating to be really healthy since it relieves stress and makes me feel good. I try and masturbate each day [6] for at least 10 to 20 minutes each time. Sometimes I'll do it a few times a day even. It depends on when I feel horny and want to take some time for myself. I do like to use sex toys. I like vibrators, especially ones that can get hotter in the settings because the warming temperature feels good."
Take a Bath
"A warm bath can be the best spot for masturbating because it's really warm and quiet, and you can be alone and relaxed. Sometimes I'll play music, have a glass of wine, or listen to audio porn from porn sites or erotica sites. Then I'll grab my vibrator and go. I never have to worry about someone interrupting me and it's a good way to unwind before bedtime."
Use Your Imagination
"Sometimes I just use my imagination to come up with different sexy scenes from movies or in real life with people I am attracted to. Like maybe someone from work and a coworker fantasy or I'll imagine doing a performance in front of a crowd and watching audience members get really aroused. Or it could be some BDSM fantasy. It depends on the mood and how I am feeling in my life: if I am more in control, maybe I'll want to be dominated. If I feel a bit crazed, maybe I want to take charge."
Assume to Orgasm Again and Again
"When it comes to orgasms, I can be greedy. They just feel so damn good, ya know? When I am masturbating, I assume that I can have multiple, that there's enough time to really relax and enjoy masturbating without a time limit or a one-and-done sort of thing. This helps me orgasm super fast the first time because I am more relaxed and into it and then I can come again and again for a total of like 15 to 20 minutes. When you are focussed on getting that single orgasm, you'll probably get none. If you focus on just pleasing yourself and seeing how it goes, then you're going to have several."