When it comes to relationships, cheating is pretty much a no-brainer offence. While some people might have different ideas of what cheating really is [1], such as a flirting over text with another person or watching porn, when it comes to physical touch with someone else, its pretty clear that that's NOT OK. Luckily, cheaters often possess the same body language traits, so it could be somewhat easier to spot [2] if you've been suspicious. Here are a few clues that your partner might be up to some no-good behaviour.
They're Protective of Their Phone
If your partner is crazed about you peeping at his or her phone, it could be a sign. "The cheater will have guarded body language when on their mobile devices," says David Bennett, [3] counsellor and relationship expert with Double Trust Dating, to POPSUGAR. Your partner might choose to hold the phone in a clear way so you can't see it, or even suddenly lock the screen and put their phone out of reach when you are around, he says. There's probably some secretive stuff in there.
What's more, your partner might pull away and freak out when you do happen to see something on their mobile device, he says. "If someone is using their phone for honest reasons, they have no reason to act surprised and/or jerk their phone away if their partner happens to see what's on the screen. However, if they are cheating, this reflex reaction is going to happen automatically and subconsciously, and their body language will suggest they just got 'caught,'" he says.
They Get Nervous When Discussing the Other Person
If the other person happens to be in your partner's life regularly or you know of this person, your partner could tense up upon hearing the name from your mouth. "They might show signs of nervousness when you talk about the suspected "other woman" or "other man," says Bennett. "Signs of nervousness include speaking more quickly, tension in the face, and stroking their forearms gently or touching their chest area (men may adjust their ties — these last two are called 'pacifying behaviours' and help a nervous person feel more relaxed)," he says. Be on the lookout for these warning signs when in conversation about your partner's relationships with others.
What's more, let's say you're in front of the other man or woman, where you see them together. "Body language is ultimately subconscious, and many cheaters will feel the desire to be physically close with the person they are cheating with," he says. For example, if your partner is cheating with a coworker, and every time you see them together, they are barely inches apart, sitting extremely close, making significant eye contact, and touching each other, something's going on.
They Smile at Their Phones
Cheaters will sometimes flash a full smile while looking at their phones, says Bennett. Of course, this could be harmless, so don't assume the worst if there aren't other signals of cheating behaviour. "If you see your partner doing a lot of typing, which they may claim is work related or something along those lines, but they flash a full, genuine smile (called a Duchenne smile, which involves the eyes and cheeks), this may be a sign they aren't exactly focusing on work," he explains.
They're Openly Closed Off to You
Cheaters will have closed off body language toward their partner. "Many cheaters ultimately feel bad about their cheating and/or like the other person better, so they will stop having open and happy body language around their partner," he says. The cheater will likely keep physical distance, touching less and less, smiling less, and crossing their arms when they are around their partner, he explains. This could also be indicative of other marital problems and not just cheating, too.