IS TOM A HANDS ON DAD? Over the last three years there's one question that has started grating on me, and that's 'Is Tom a hands-on dad?' It's something I get asked a lot, along with 'What's he like as a father?' or 'Has he surprised you in his new role?' I'll say straight away that Tom is an amazing dad. He is one half of the parenting team and we very much do everything together. I feel fully supported in the knowledge that parenting, for us, is a mutual responsibility. I wouldn't be able to have children and keep working in the way I am without having Tom to tag team with. I guess the thing that has started to irk me about the above questions, is that no one would ever ask Tom what I was like as a mum, or ponder over my involvement, or dare to ask if I was any good at it. So the fact Tom, and all Dads, are having their skills questioned as though being 'hands-on' is optional is a murky area for me. I feel like we've moved on as a society. Dads are more involved. Well, in my eyes, they should be. Although I do understand that it's not always possible even if they'd like to be. With more and more women going back to work it's impossible for them to keep such a tight hold of the reigns. Control and responsibly have to be passed over to the dads, because parenting is a full time role within itself and if both parents are out working and keeping the family afloat financially then it's only right that the demands of family life get distributed equally too. Don't dumb down my husband or any other dad who's decided to accept the shift and readjust accordingly for the good of the family. Don't treat dads who interact with their children like they're doing something alien that warrants your praise. If you wouldn't do it to a mum, don't do it to a dad. So, to all the dads out there doing the best for their families - whether you've stopped your 'day job' to take over the main bulk of responsibilities, whether you're sharing everything as evenly as possible, or whether you're out doing shift work and working all the hours possible to provide for your family - whatever you're doing with your family in mind, thank you. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Giovanna Fletcher has, once again, struck a chord. On Father's Day, the author — who went viral a year ago with a post about post-pregnancy body-shaming — took to Instagram to address the numerous questions she has been getting about her husband, McFly musician Tom, and whether or not he is "a hands-on dad." Admitting that the topic has started to irritate her, she first chose to explain that, yes, "Tom is an amazing dad." But it's the rest of her post that got her the praise of mums around the world.
Explaining that she and her husband see parenting as "a mutual responsibility," Giovanna quite rightly pointed out that nobody would ever ask a man what his partner was like as a mum, or whether she was any good at it. "So the fact Tom, and all Dads, are having their skills questioned as though being 'hands-on' is optional is a murky area for me. I feel like we've moved on as a society. Dads are more involved. Well, in my eyes, they should be. Although I do understand that it's not always possible even if they'd like to be," she writes.
There's no denying that parenting has changed, and dads are more than capable of taking care of their own children. So as mentioned by Giovanna, it's about time we stopped treating "dads who interact with their children like they're doing something alien that warrants your praise." After all, if you wouldn't do it to a mother, why do it to a father?