Mind-blowing, toe-curling, scream-inducing orgasms are not just stuff of legends and amazing movie sex scenes. They are entirely tangible — if you know what you're doing. There are plenty of ways to have the best sex of your life, but you're guaranteed to enjoy the grand finale more if you focus on some important parts of getting off. Keep your eye on the prize. You can do it — literally.
1. Delay your gratification.
The best orgasms come to those who wait. Edging is a method of controlling an orgasm to keep yourself or your partner on the brink for as long as possible. According to research by the Journal of Sex Research, men and women alike achieve the most satisfying climax when they take part in delayed gratification. Being on the brink is a way to tease your genitals until you just can't take it anymore, meaning a more forceful finale is achieved.
2. Find your G-spot. Love your G-spot.
Tickle your own fancy, toot your own horn, float your own boat — then teach your partner how to do it. Yes, this magical area exists, and yes you should pay close attention to it. Doggy style is a good position for finding a woman's G-spot during vaginal intercourse with a penis or device, because the tip applies pressure to the spot more naturally. Fingers and other toys work well too! Being on top can also increase the likelihood of a smashingly good orgasm for a woman, because she is able to control the angle, depth, and pacing so that the special spot gets hit over and over again.
3. Just breathe.
Sex is definitely our favourite extracurricular activity, but it's also a very physical one. Just like with any other exercise, breathing is important in order to control muscles and heart rate. Take some tips from yoga or even tantric sex the next time you're having a session between the sheets. Lelo says to breathe deep, synchronise with your partner, and slow down your breaths as you come closer to climaxing. This will delay the grand finale and help you finish with a really big bang.
4. Give the clitoris lots of love.
Friction is fabulous. Make sure that the clitoris is getting stimulation during intercourse, because an orgasm from penetration alone can be hard to achieve for females. Use fingers, mouths, toys, or even your partner's pubic bone to ensure that the clitoris is getting all the attention that it needs.
5. Pick your favourite position.
This one seems like a no-brainer, but the more comfortable, kinky, or pleasured you feel in a position, the more likely you are to get an awe-inspiring orgasm. Lelo says that one position that can help influence the ease of achieving an orgasm is sitting upright with your back against a wall or headboard facing your partner, which improves blood flow to all of your most intimate areas.
6. Sync up with your cycle.
A study of 18- to 35-year-old women "showed the orgasm was most intense on the 14th day of the menstrual cycle." Lelo said that a woman is more aroused and receptive to sexual contact on this day because the clitoris swells by up to 20 percent more than usual on the day you're ovulating. Stay in tune with your body and your arousal, and get down with your bad self when you are feeling it the most.
7. Know all the facts about your medicine.
Many types of drugs can have a negative effect on your sex drive, the most common ones being antidepressants and birth control pills. The lower your libido is, the more difficult it can be to get an optimal orgasm, or to even have one at all. Make sure you know the side effects of the medicine you are taking, and consider other alternatives if it makes sense to!
8. Avoid alcohol.
Save having a sip of something alcoholic until after you've reached your ultimate happy place, because drinking can decrease libido and physiological arousal. While alcohol consumption can actually increase a women's arousal subjectively (it's a widely acknowledged fact that drinking lowers inhibitions), the physical effects can make it harder to reach completion. So come now, drink later.
9. Keep it up with the Kegels.
Strengthening your pelvic muscles can push you over the edge in the most delightful ways. Kegel exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training, support the uterus, bladder, and rectum — some or all of which come into play during sex. Kegels are said to especially help women who have trouble achieving orgasm, so make these exercises a part of your daily routine to get very pleasurable results.
10. Speak up.
Don't be shy about voicing what you really want — even if it's kinky, a departure from what you or your partner's used to, or downright weird. If you want it, you should ask for it. Be open and honest with yourself (hey, you can achieve amazing orgasms flying solo, too) and your partner, and that honesty will help lower your inhibitions so that you can really get into the action. And trust us, you should never, ever knock it till you try it.