Men, grab a notepad and listen up, because comedian Trey Kennedy [1] is here to teach you everything you need to know about being the picture-perfect millennial boyfriend — with a hilarious twist, of course. In one of his recent weekly videos, the YouTube personality [2] breaks down some "lessons" about the key to a young gal's heart, and the whole thing is just so painfully accurate, I'm honestly wondering if Trey was a millennial woman in a past life.

Before explaining the ideal formula for a mushy goodnight text message, he lays out all the foods a boyfriend should provide his lady to keep her happy, narrowing it down to the acronym "SPIRIT," which stands for sushi, pizza, ice cream, Rosé, iced coffee, and tacos. I mean, he's not wrong. Check out a few other standout teachings below, then join the more than six million people who have viewed Trey's viral video by watching it above.

• "Who in here thinks you should be the only man in her life? Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. There's gonna be two other men in her life: one's named Ben, one's named Jerry."
• "When she's in a dark place, dark chocolate in her face."
• "If you go on vacations with your girl, you're no longer her boyfriend — you're a photographer. You're a Boomerang specialist. You're a frickin' paparazzi."
• "Any Bachelor [3] fans in the house? All of your hands should be raised. You will be. And if she asks if any of the girls on the show are pretty, remember this: 'Play dumb, save your bum.'"