Along with the new wrinkle on my forehead and the increasing severity of hangovers, getting older has also brought me something a lot more welcome — it's brought me a little bit of wisdom. With each passing year, we understand more about ourselves and our relationships. My significant other and I have been together for over five years, and I've had some of the best experiences of my life with him. We've also had some pretty difficult ones. While I'm not sure there's one true secret [1] to making things work, I do know that it's possible if you're both really in it together.
We've changed over the years and so has the nature of our love. We've experienced the excitement of falling hard for each other, we've challenged our resilience with a move across the country with each other (and a very grumpy cat), and we've started over in a new city with no money and few friends. We've celebrated births of family members together and mourned the loss of them, too. We've experienced the novelty of the honeymoon phase wearing off and a deeper, more peaceful kind of love settling in. Falling in love is easy; staying in love is something you have to work at daily. Over the years I've seen little signs (often at the time not realising what they were) that helped me decipher what true love really is [2] and what that means. Here's what I've learned.
— Additional reporting by Maya Berry
Love is seeing a person every day and still missing them when you're apart.
Love is listening.
Love is using the bathroom with the door open because they were in the middle of a story and you really had to go.
Love is smiling at them while they're sleeping.
Love is picking up their favorite treat on the way home so they will be surprised when they get there.
Love is respect, but not submission.
Love is challenging each other to be the best people you both can be.
Love is asking for forgiveness.
Love is forgiving.
Love is letting them be their own person and always being your true self with them, too.
Love is committing to them and meaning it.
Love is addressing problems and challenges, not avoiding them.
Love is holding their hand when they are sad or scared — or just because.
Love is the absence of judgments.
Love is compromise.
Love is cleaning up the cat, dog, or baby poop, even if it's not your turn to.
Love is arguing, but not attacking.
Love is honest, even when it hurts.
Love is letting them know you'll always be there for them.
Love is finding a balance.
Love is recognizing the value of the other person and telling them.
Love is selfless.
Love is saying "I love you" any chance you get.
Love is support and encouragement.
Love is patience when things don't go as planned.
Love is eating at your favorite restaurant and talking about your days.
Love is laughing at inside jokes no one else will ever understand.
Love is something that makes you both happy.
Love is losing sleep because they haven't come home yet.
Love is sometimes admitting you're wrong.
Love is supporting their passion, even if you don't share that passion.
Love is never, ever watching a new episode of your favorite show without them.
Love is corny as hell.
Love is chemistry.
Love is loving their friends and family (or at least trying to).
Love is letting them pick the next trip you take.
Love is being partners.
Love is sharing the covers.
Love is imperfect.
Love is letting the small things go.
Love is skipping the party and going to bed together early.
Love is a kiss on the forehead.
Love is laughing at stupid things together.
Love is not just talk, but action.
Love is boring.
Love is exciting.
Love is home.
