I Went Travelling Alone After a Breakup, and Here's What I Learned

Adapting to a life no longer shared is difficult, but there is no steeper learning curve than being thrown in the deep end thousands of miles from home. Sleeping alone, dining alone, and spending whole days alone is weird at first, but it's incredible how soon you adapt. In fact, I quickly learned to relish it.

When you're in a relationship, you often get stuck socialising with the same group of people, and one of the hardest parts of ending that relationship is mourning the life you had planned together. However, travelling alone is a great way to meet all sorts of new people and open your eyes to the plethora of options you have ahead — it's liberating and inspiring.

When you're in a relationship, you inevitably compromise on a whole host of things. Being alone, especially travelling alone, allows you to be as selfish as you like. After a long period of compromise, this feels novel and refreshing. If you want to get up for the sunrise hike, you can; alternatively if you want to lie in hammock and read your book all morning, you can.

You can't split rooms, cabs, or meals, which means doing it solo is always going to be more pricey. There are hidden costs too, like the taxi you have to take because you don't want to walk alone in the dark, or skipping the bartering as you don't want to end up in an argument on your own.

I snobbishly thought I was too old to stay in hostels, but it turns out there's something rather depressing about staying in nice hotels alone. Most of the time they are full of what appear to be smug couples who aren't open to meeting new people. Same goes for overly snazzy restaurants. Hostels however are the opposite. They're full of solo travellers and everyone is keen to meet new people. I had the best three days exploring Udaipur with a girl from London who was my bunk-bed neighbour.

I had found that when travelling with someone else, in particular a partner, stressful situations quickly escalated, as you end up dramatising together. When you're on your own, you have no one to moan too so you accept situations much quicker and simply get on with it. Testing times become part of the experience and often make a funny anecdote in the future.

A break-up (specifically being broken up with) is probably one the biggest knocks of confidence you get in your life. I felt lost and confused, but travelling quickly restored my confidence, self-esteem and most importantly my ability to make decision. Travelling where the culture is very different to back home teaches you to tap into your gut instinct, a muscle that can be quickly strengthened.

After a break-up you can feel bitter and disheartened, but travelling alone is a surefire way to restore your faith in the kindness of humanity. I lost count of the genuinely lovely people who were hellbent on helping me find my train, not miss my bus stop, or give me directions to my hotel. I will never forget the man who got me samosas and mango juice when trapped up on a luggage rack after I missed my train.