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Tips For Having a First Date Over FaceTime

9 Tips For Having Successful First Dates on FaceTime

Apr 3 2020

Single? No worries! In a time of self-isolation and limited human contact, your dating life doesn't have to come to a complete halt. Google Hangouts, Zoom, Houseparty, FaceTime, and countless other video chat options are here to help you take care of your romantic business. With enterprise-level software that's as seamless as it is secure, you can go on virtual first dates to ensure your love life can retain some normalcy in these trying times. And to make sure you're ready to jump into virtual dates and actually have good ones (we promise it's not as scary as it sounds), we've rounded up our top tips for a great date from behind a screen (and yes, we learned these tips from trial and error).

You know how seasoned runners say, "Nothing new on race day," meaning you shouldn't try a novel breakfast or save a freshly-purchased pair of socks for your marathon? Yeah, you've been training for this too. You know how your body, mind, and surroundings typically are on a fist date, so make things as similar to regular dates as possible by setting the scene in your own home. Not sure what to wear? Or what to talk about to keep the conversation fun and light? We got you. Keep reading for our 9 biggest tips.

Image Source: Getty / Westend61

1. Continue All of Your Pre-Date Rituals

Take your time getting ready, listen to your pre-date playlist (if you don't have one, you can borrow mine), and do whatever you'd normally do to pump yourself up for a date. Consider doing something physical to get any jitters out. Dance around your room, stretch, or have a quick meditation and repeating a mantra like "I am enough" a few times.

Image Source: Getty / Westend61

2. You Can Still Wear Joggers

The great news about a video chat is that you only have to think above the fold! Whether it's a work conference call or a date, cosy joggers are allowed as long as they're not in the shot. So, go ahead and keep your yoga leggings and slippers on, but don't mention it to anyone. If the date is going well and the other person admits to wearing joggers, you can too.

Image Source: Pexels / Daria Shevtsova

3. It’s Not a Contest

If you arrive on-camera and your date has put in seemingly no effort and comments that you got "so ready," that's out of embarrassment. Brush it off like a fly. This person is a stranger and for all they know this is the level of effort you put into walking your dog or get the post. The important thing is that you feel your best and whether the date goes well or poorly, you walk away knowing you're still a catch.

Image Source: Getty / SDI Productions

4. Underthink the First Date

For a first date, whether in-person or virtual, a good rule of thumb is to treat the conversation like you already know the person, and you're just jumping back into an already existing discussion. If the chemistry is there, over-planning can sometimes suck that dry, so give yourself permission to just see what happens. Conversation is much more fun when it emerges out of the situation, so ask about things you can see in the background, what your date had for lunch, or what the view from their window is like. If you must, think about a few things you'd like to know about this person and write down topics, not questions.

Image Source: Getty / d3sign

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5. Mitigate Technical Issues

Much like a real-life date, the logistics of actually setting up the hangout should be the responsibility of whichever party suggested the date in the first place. Once you've received your link to the chat, your only job is to be on time, or maybe a minute late to make 'em sweat. Set yourself up for success by keeping other media like your phone and TV away and designating a spot for this to take place.

The first week into social distancing I forgot I'd agreed to a FaceTime date and he called while I was watching Tiger King and finishing up some laundry. Frantic, I answered before I paused the show, so the first thing my date heard was the Oklahoma drawl of a deranged zookeeper, and the first thing he saw were rolls of obsessively folded leggings and sports bras. Frazzled, I spent the majority of the date in long rambles trying to recover my cool and eventually, he said he'd better let me get back to my laundry; which I think is the least alluring way a date has ever ended in my life or maybe all of history.

Image Source: Unsplash / William Iven

6. Make It a Clean Close-Out

Like any good date, your aim is to leave that person feeling like they can't wait to see you again (and you feeling like they did the same). To do this virtually, wrap things up after about 30 minutes or an hour at the very most. Even if it's going well, you don't owe that stranger your entire night, and ideally, it'd be nice to leave some unanswered questions for your next chat. No need to make an excuse, simply say you should probably scoot but you're already looking forward to hearing more about them next time. If it's not a match, a close-out like, "Thanks for setting this up" will do. You can always let them down gently if they follow up over text.

Image Source: Pexels / Daria Shevtsova

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