What Are the 5 Apology Languages?

1 Expressing Regret

This apology language is all about showing you wish you hadn't caused hurt. For example, you might say, "I'm so embarrassed I spoke poorly of you in front of our coworkers," or, "I'm ashamed I hurt your feelings again." This could be your apology language if you feel really seen and validated when someone expressed regret for something they did to hurt you, which then allows you to forgive and move on.

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2 Accepting Responsibility

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By accepting responsibility, you're acknowledging you're at fault for hurting the other person. You can do this by saying something like, "I'm so sorry I spilled my drink on your shirt. I need to be more careful next time." Owning your actions as hurtful is key with this one.

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3 Making Restitution

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If your loved one's apology language is making restitution, they want you to make the situation right. So, if you lied to them, you could work hard to help them rebuild trust in you. Or, if you broke something valuable to them, you could offer to pay for it.

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4 Genuinely Repenting

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Genuinely repenting means acknowledging the hurt you caused and working to do better next time. For example, you might say, "I'm so sorry I embarrassed you in front of our friends. I will do my best to never do it again. Next time, I'll be more thoughtful before speaking."

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5 Requesting Forgiveness

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This apology language is pretty straightforward. To request forgiveness, you simply ask the other person to forgive you for what you've done. You may also want to add something along the lines of "but it's up to you" when asking.

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