When I was younger, I was obsessed with princess movies. I loved the happily ever after endings and dreamed of the day I would find my own prince charming. Mostly because, as a child, I had no idea how relationships actually worked. Now, many years later, I've realised that being in a relationship in early adulthood isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be.
I don't have a commitment to keep to someone, and leaning into that has been really fun.
As a young woman in her 20s, I'm surrounded by friends who are currently in relationships or are actively trying to be in one [1]. And after many venting sessions with my friends about things their partners did or didn't do, I've realised that I'd rather not have that added stress in my life right now and I'm perfectly happy being alone. I'm still learning new things about myself every day, trying to make career moves, and resolve my own issues. I've played the dating game before, and I'll play it again, but right now, I'm OK with being the single friend of my group [2]. It isn't because I'm afraid to put myself out there or because I detest the idea of love [3], it's just that right now, I'm fine with my life [4] and how it stands. I don't need to be romantically involved with another person to feel complete. I feel whole by myself, and that feels really, really good.
I want to make the most of my time to be selfish. I love being able to do what I want to do [5] without thinking of another person and how it might affect them. If I want to take a day to turn off my cell phone and enjoy my own company, I can. If I want to pack up and move across the country [6], I can. If I want to go on multiple dates with different people, there's nothing stopping me. I don't have a commitment to keep to someone, and leaning into that has been really fun.
My mom always told me that people don't really mature or know what they want out of life until they're at least 25. While I know this statement should be taken with a grain of salt, I also think she has a point. I've always been a determined person with clear goals, but I also know that not all people are like me. People mature at different stages [7], and while some may figure out things earlier than others, I know I'm in no rush. I want to experience as much as I can right now, and that includes making some mistakes.
Of course, I would be lying if I said I never think about having someone special by my side [8], but then I remember that I have time. Rushing into a relationship is a great way to make that relationship fail, and I want to take my time when it comes to serious things like dating. Right now, I'd rather grow by myself and flourish into the person I've always wanted to be than attempt to grow alongside another person. But like I said, that's just me.
I know love is something we can't control. You can't organise your life into stages and expect everything to happen the way you carefully planned it. But I also know not being interested in dating right now is nothing to feel weird about. My next relationship will happen when it's supposed to, whether that's in a few months or a few years. But until then, I'm going to have a blast with myself and my friends.