I got married when I was 19 during my sophomore year of college. We both knew we still had a lot to learn about life and each other, but starting our family at that moment despite the chaos of student life [1] just felt right. He was (and is) and amazing man, and I knew in my heart that it was the right decision for us. Today we have two kids and are still building the life we always dreamed of having, but it definitely didn't come without a few hardships and lessons. As a young married woman in college, I faced unexpected challenges (and on the flip side, opportunities). I'm so happy with my decision and where I'm at now, but I do wish I had known these five things before saying "I do."
Relationships with friends might change, but they're still worth holding on to.
Exiting the dating scene in college often means passing on girls' nights out that are better suited for the single life [3], and that's OK, but it was a total 180. I rarely saw my friends after I got married because spending too much time outside of the marriage felt like neglecting it. Now I know better. I wish I'd realised that maintaining strong friendships outside of my relationship would help me strengthen my sense of self, making me a better friend and an even better wife.
You can use campus activities to strengthen your bond.
Right after we got married, my husband and I took "Netflix and chill" to a whole new level and became seasoned binge watchers. At first we loved escaping the chaotic bar scene that our single friends were still navigating, but soon our time together started feeling stale. I wish we'd shifted our focus from what new series to watch to the world of fun classes, clubs, and events that are endlessly accessible in student life [4].
You can customise your future together even more.
What careers [5] should we choose? Where do we want to live? What should we start saving up for? How will it all impact starting a family? Getting married in college gave my husband and I a chance to customise each element of our future family in a way that meeting and marrying down the road would limit. It gave us both a chance to weigh in on pivotal decisions with lifelong effects in a way that I'm only now beginning to appreciate.
You don't have to sacrifice yourself for your spouse.
After I got married, I allowed everything to become about us. I didn't know where I ended and my husband began. While I loved our closeness, pursuing individual hobbies and interests fell by the wayside for both of us and we both felt that void. I wish I'd set aside time to focus on me and who I wanted to become as an individual, especially during such a heavy growth period of life.
The financial aid rocks.
It was a whole new world of financial support after we tied the knot. Though certainly not a reason to get hitched too soon, getting married when we were both in college and under 24 allowed us to claim independent status from our parents and sent federal grants through the roof. It was a welcomed surprise and took some of the stress off of transitioning from single to married life.