In November 2018, 7th Heaven's Beverley Mitchell penned a Thanksgiving post on her blog "Growing Up Hollywood" [1] that shared the news she'd suffered a miscarriage just weeks after finding out she was pregnant with twins. The mom to nearly 6-year-old Kenzie and 4-year-old Hutton shared that her "heart could not make sense of it" considering she'd had two healthy pregnancies already, but that healing was coming with each passing day. However, five months after sharing her experience with her readers, Beverley is reflecting on the sadness she's been feeling and the "What ifs?" in another heartbreaking post on her blog [2].
"If I didn't miscarry, I would have a baby, possibly two babies joining our family. Though I understand in my heart that this was not our path, I can't help but wonder," she wrote in the March 18 post. "Through this process, I have come to terms with it and have been OK; I talk about it often just because I don't want to hide the fact that it happened, I had a miscarriage. I am not looking for sympathy just the acknowledgment that it happened, because what hurts the most, at least for me is the dismissal of it. But this last week has thrown me a curve ball, and I have been downright SAD."
While the mom feels physically fine, she says her "heart hurts," her "mind is tired," and that even though she's so grateful for her two beautiful children, they often ask about having a little brother or sister. "I so strongly feel there is another little soul waiting to join our family, and that is where I struggle," Beverley wrote.
"Though last week was hard, I am grateful because I know the sadness will lift and though it was challenging, I am stronger because of it. The hardest part was allowing myself to feel SAD and be OK with NOT BEING OK. . . Everyone grieves differently and what has thrown me off, I honestly felt that I had gotten through that process, but it snuck up on me. I find myself yearning for those babies I see everywhere, and my heart hurts. And last week I let it hurt. I gave myself a week to feel it all, the sadness, the exhaustion, the pure frustration. And boy did I feel it. But this week I have made the decision to move forward, to focus on the beauty of my life, my incredible husband, and the two most beautiful angels that I could not be more grateful [for]. This week will be a good week because that is the space I am creating."
Beverley ends her bittersweet post with a call to all of those who are also grieving. "So to all those who are suffering, know that it is OK to take time to feel it all. Give yourself a minute, sometimes life sucks but in the same breath life can be pure MAGIC. So let yourself feel, but also allow yourself to be open to the beauty and the magic too. Because in the darkness there is the beauty of the light! SENDING YOU ALL MOUNTAINS OF LOVE AND THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE PLATFORM TO SHARE AND BE VULNERABLE."