When I was pregnant with my first child, I took the childbirth classes [1], read all the pregnancy books, and badgered friends and female family members about what contractions feel like [2], how long their labors lasted, and if they got an epidural. I would learn some horrifying things about birth that I had no idea were even a thing (pooping while pushing and tearing?! I mean, WTF?). But I'm just wondering why absolutely no one told me that if you do decide to get an epidural [3], you'll also need a catheter so you don't pee all over yourself.

Maybe it's common sense to all other moms-to-be on planet Earth other than me that if you can't feel your body from the waist down, urinary catheterization will be necessary. But I never thought about this particular aspect of giving birth because, well, I was distracted by growing a human being inside my body. So it came as a complete surprise to me when my labor and delivery nurse [4] walked in to administer a catheter shortly after my epidural took effect. My facial expression must have been priceless. Like, say what now?

Granted, in the grand scheme of birth, getting a catheter isn't the worst of what happens or could happen (again, pooping on the table, people [5]!). But I resented having no forewarning whatsoever that someone was going to insert a long, thin tube into my bladder. I thought, "Why didn't anyone warn me?" [6] How had this not come up in any of my birthing classes, during the countless conversations I had with mom friends about their labor and delivery experiences, or in the books I'd read attempting to prepare for my own birth?

Had I known urinary catheterization was necessary, I'm not sure I would have gotten an epidural. Sound crazy? Well, it was unappealing enough that I actually decided to skip the epidural the next two times I gave birth. Between the IV, the epidural, and that catheter, I just didn't think I could stand to be stuck with or hooked up to one more thing.

I'm not saying getting a catheter was horribly painful or emotionally scarring. I just wish I'd been hip to the beat when it came to this aspect of delivery so I could make a truly educated decision about pain management during birth. That's why I am telling other moms-to-be about catheters. Don't shoot the messenger!