Dos and Don'ts of Weaning

15 Truths About Weaning No One Talks About

The decision to stop breastfeeding is a very personal one. Unfortunately, the private nature of weaning can keep new moms in the dark about what it involves.

When I transitioned from exclusively breastfeeding after six months, I was hit with unexpected side effects, both emotionally and physically. Some were good, and some were bad. The experience differed from how I felt at the beginning of my breastfeeding journey. Before and after birth, I read the books, took classes, and talked to supportive professionals and friends. That led to an overall positive breastfeeding experience. And when things didn't go well, I felt prepared for bumps in the road, including a bout of mastitis.

I didn't experience the same openness around weaning. Considering all the pressure to breastfeed, some of it self-imposed, I actually felt ashamed that I was going to stop before the one-year mark. Ellen Maughan, an international board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) at NYU Langone Health, confirmed that my feelings were normal. She explained, "At times, social, family, or personal feelings can create guilt when it comes to weaning." According to Maughan, it's crucial that moms have accurate information and knowledge about their weaning options. When that happens, they're more likely to feel that they made the best decision for themselves and their babies.

Following my experience, I think it's important to demystify the process of weaning and help other women feel less alone. To do my part, here are 15 things I wish I knew before I stopped breastfeeding.

1. You Can Still Cuddle

I cherished the quiet moments I had nursing my daughter. As she got older and started to squirm around more, this seemed to be my best opportunity for some snuggles. I worried it would end once I weaned. Fortunately, bottle-feeding also allows for that close contact, and my daughter still looks at me intently with her big eyes as I feed her.

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2. It Can Make You Sick

Here's something I wasn't expecting: extreme nausea. About 48 hours after our last feed, I threw up multiple times. The feeling passed after a couple of hours, but it reminded me of morning sickness. Just like in early pregnancy, your hormones are changing rapidly when you stop breastfeeding. So be prepared for similar symptoms.

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3. You Will Get Over the Guilt of Giving Your Baby Formula

The "F" word. As a new mom committed to exclusively breastfeeding, I had a legit fear of formula. So when it came time to wean, I could barely look at the cans of organic formula my husband had researched and bought for us. I even made him give her the first bottle of formula while I was out of the house. But after a week, I started to accept it. And now, a month in, I appreciate how easy formula is. It helps that my daughter doesn't seem to know the difference.

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4. It Improves Your Social Life

Yes, you can safely drink alcohol while breastfeeding. But after I weaned, I suddenly felt liberated to enjoy myself a bit more. I no longer had to worry about waiting two hours between drinks and feeding. And if I wanted to stay out a little later with friends, I didn't have to make sure there was enough expressed milk at home. My husband could simply give her a bottle of formula.

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5. Your Boobs Will Shrink

Where did that cleavage go? I woke up one morning short at least two cup sizes. I did not recognise my boobs, which had steadily grown over pregnancy and nursing. I had to pull out my old bras.

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6. It Can Improve Your Love Life

Breastfeeding can make sex painful, according to the International Society For Sexual Medicine. That's because breastfeeding women have lower levels of estrogen. This starts to go back to normal when you wean, making intimacy easier and more pleasurable.

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7. You Won't Miss Pumping

You're finally free! Free from hooking yourself up to a mechanical pump and feeling like a dairy cow. Free from lugging a pump to work and having to head to a lactation room at inopportune times. Free from washing pump parts a gazillion times a day. At least, that's how I felt when I could stop pumping.

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8. You'll Get More Sleep

Having more feeding options means you can more easily share the responsibility with your partner or other loved ones. For me, after I weaned, I spent my first night away from my daughter, leaving her with her grandparents. This was a way for me to treat myself and finally get a full night's sleep. Oh, how I missed it.

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9. You Can Wear Whatever You Want

Once I finished breastfeeding, I saw my closet with a new set of eyes. It had been months since I'd worn a dress, since I didn't want to lift it up and flash everyone (more than necessary) when it came time to feed. Suddenly, I could wear all the pieces that made breastfeeding impractical.

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10. Your Boobs Will Keep Producing Milk

Don't get rid of those nursing pads yet. Even after I fully weaned and my breasts shrank, I noticed some leaking milk in my bra from time to time. Considering some moms still produce milk for years, I won't be surprised if this lasts for a while.

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11. It Could Take a While

It took about a month for me to go from exclusively breastfeeding to completely weaned. Each week, I would drop a feeding and replace it either with stored breast milk or formula. This was quite a painful process, since my breasts were producing milk with nowhere to go. To get some relief without stimulating more milk production, I gently expressed milk with a hand pump, trying to get as little as necessary to avoid engorgement and clogged ducts.

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12. It Doesn't Have to Be All or Nothing

If you're ready to cut back on breastfeeding or want to stop pumping, you might want to consider partial weaning. That means continuing to nurse one or two times a day, as is convenient for you. Most women will find that their supply adjusts comfortably.

Creating a stockpile of frozen breast milk before you completely wean is another option for moms who want to continue giving their children some breast milk. To do that, you would have to pump and store milk in your freezer before you wean.

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13. You'll Need Support

I didn't experience the baby blues after birth, but I imagine they feel a lot like the emotions I had when I began weaning. Sadness after breastfeeding is common, and many moms feel tearful or mildly depressed due to the sudden change in hormones and relationship with your baby. For me, it lasted a little more than two weeks. Be kind to yourself, and ask your partner and other loved ones to help cheer you up . . . or at least understand when your mood shifts.

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