POPSUGAR UK

I Beg You, Please Don't Invite My Children to Your Wedding

03/07/2018 - 03:55 PM

Dear Couple,

I love my children. Like, really, really love my children. When my oldest daughter was born just over four years ago, I happily gave up my job and relocated our family (twice), so that I could stay home with her [1]. I have devoted my life to raising our three daughters without a single ounce of regret [2]. Like I said, I really love my kids. They're my world, but I understand that they're not your world. That's why I'd like to say, please, don't feel obligated to invite my children to your wedding [3]. And if you don't feel obligated and instead just really like them (they're pretty great, I know), still please don't invite them.

The last thing I want to do while on a date with my husband is chase our very energetic daughter around the dance floor.

I'm with my girls all day. We go out, play games, host play dates [4], eat meals together, and every wonderful thing in between. Then, at the end of the day, after dinner is done, baths are taken, stories are read, and children are tucked in, I get to be a wife again. And I love that. With three children, my husband's full-time job, and the little bit of "me time" we each take throughout the week to maintain our sanity, those moments where we just get to be husband and wife [5] can seem few and far between. So when opportunities arise for us to do something together without our kids, we typically jump on them.

After ten years of marriage [7], my husband and I still enjoy dating one another. Yes, your wedding is obviously about you and your new husband, but it's also the ultimate date night for the couples you invite. Dinner, drinks, and dancing with all of our friends? Sign us up! The last thing I want to do while on a date with my husband is chase our very energetic daughter around the dance floor, or make sure she doesn't go and shove her entire hand into your cake [8] (which, I assure you, she would if the opportunity presented itself) before grabbing hold of your dress with said hand. Would it be funny? Not in the moment, but maybe later on. Would she look adorable twirling on the dance floor in her fanciest dress? Absolutely. Would I melt into an emotional puddle watching her dance with her dad [9]? You bet. But it's not about her. Or us. It's your day, and you can make it as kid-free as you want (which I hope you do).

So there you have it — my word that there will be no hard feelings should our children be excluded from your guest list. My husband and I will gladly make arrangements for them. And let's face it: they're young, so they won't be plagued with feelings of inadequacy over not having been invited. They'll be just fine. And should you choose to invite them because you're dying to see them finger paint with the icing from your cake, we will politely decline on their behalf. You're welcome in advance.

Love,
A Mom Who Doesn't Need to Take My Kids Everywhere

Editor's Note: This piece was written by a POPSUGAR contributor and does not necessarily reflect the views of POPSUGAR Inc. Interested in joining our POPSUGAR Voices network of contributors from around the globe? Click here [10].


Source URL
https://www.popsugar.co.uk/parenting/Essay-About-Wanting-Kids-Weddings-45007712