11 Crazy Things You Learn While Chaperoning Your Kid's Field Trip

You'll quickly realize that not all children are created equal, and some are much more annoying than others. There's the kid who can't stop asking questions; the one who is very concerned about getting separated from the group, and therefore wants to be touching you at all times; and the kid who seems to think that being off school grounds means he can torment his classmates. Just hope that one's not in your group.

You might think you have a leader on your hands only to discover that she's pretty passive when surrounded by her classmates. Maybe your outgoing kid is constantly attached to his two best friends and talks to no one else. And maybe you'll find that the kid who can't keep her hands to herself or stop talking when she's supposed to be listening is actually yours. Shoot!

You're given a group of three or four children to supervise, and it seems like an almost impossible job. One is running this way, the other is sprinting for the bathroom, and yet another won't let go of your right hand. How does your child's teacher manage 20-plus kids every single day without losing (or losing it on) one?

On my daughter's last field trip, half of her class waited in line to get on a bus that was being boarded primarily by elderly people, and it wasn't even a school bus! Their reasoning: there was a line, so they got in it. This is why chaperones exist and why the job is far from easy.

You know how every time you're with your kid, you end up carrying all of their stuff? The same will happen on a field trip, only you'll be carrying the lunches, jackets, water bottles, and headbands of the entire group you're responsible for. Our advice? Bring an empty backpack.

It's a law of nature: someone will throw up during your child's field trip. Consider packing baby wipes, hand sanitizer, and plastic bags for makeshift cleanup, and pray that it isn't a kid in your group — or even worse, your actual child — that gets sick.

You remember when your first child was around 2 and you realized they had run away from you in the middle of Target, and you spent the most terrifying 30 seconds to five minutes of your life searching for them before you found them hiding in the middle of a rack of graphic tees? Expect to feel that way the entire time you're chaperoning, only the prospect of losing someone else's kid might be even worse than misplacing your own (you're pretty sure that one will come back).

If you're given the option of following the school bus in your own vehicle, trust us, you should take it. If not, buy earplugs, a personal cooling device, and consider taking a Xanax before you board. It's going to be a bumpy ride . . . literally.

You reached the end of your chaperoning experience. Your head is pounding, your feet are throbbing, you're pretty sure you've aged at least a decade, and chugging a whole bottle of wine doesn't sound like a bad idea. Then you remember: volunteering to chaperone is optional, and now that you've done it once, you'll never feel guilty about opting out again.