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While promoting her recent book, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life [3], in an exclusive interview with People [4], Gisele Bündchen [5] wasn't afraid to speak honestly about her not-so-easy transition to motherhood. And frankly, her candid take is super refreshing.
"When I became a mom, I kind of lost myself [6]. It was like a part of me died," the 38-year-old mom of two admitted. "I'd been this very independent person. It was all about me. But now I had this little being, and I suddenly felt I couldn't do other things and that was very hard for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, but when you're actually experiencing that, it's a shock."
Gisele opened up about a classic conundrum most parents face: all-encompassing guilt [7] about leaving their kids at home.
"I had all this horrible, self-imposed guilt. I thought what a terrible mother I was for leaving my child even for like a day," she said, explaining that the stress of bringing them on work trips was also hard to manage. "I was feeling guilty for that too. Like, 'Here we are on a plane and the baby is crying.'"
She also mentioned that after watching the kids for the bulk of the day — from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. — she didn't always have a ton of patience or energy left by the time the sun went down. And obviously, that routine can make navigating the ins and outs of marriage a little trickier.
"You're overwhelmed and tired and then you're not the nicest partner," she said, adding that hurdles like the Deflategate scandal in 2015 and husband Tom Brady [8]'s decision not to retire were especially tough. "When someone you love is happy, it makes you happy, or if they're sad it makes you sad. You suffer with them and you have joy with them."