You know that old saying "we hurt the ones we love the most?" Well, I'm starting to believe it originated from a parent who was trying to justify their 7-year-old daughter's atrocious treatment of them. Seriously, my former little angel [1] has always taken me for granted in the way that only a child should, but lately, her behaviour has become downright entitled, bordering on seriously spoiled.
She lives a privileged life, complete with two parents and four grandparents who would do pretty much anything for her (she's our only daughter and the only granddaughter on both sides); but throughout her life, I've made a concerted effort to teach her about gratitude and that her blessings are not entitlements. Slowly, through a lot of work, she's starting to understand that I am her mother and not her cook, maid, driver, or punching bag. If you have a child whose appreciation of you seems woefully underdeveloped, here's how to get at least a few of the kudos you deserve.
Make "Please" and "Thank You" a Habit
It may seem simple, but when your child says "please" and "thank you" when you fulfil one of the 10,000 requests they throw at you every day, they're acknowledging that they're asking you for a favour and you're completing that favour, versus treating you like their own personal servant. It's an important habit to start at a young age, even when you're doing things for them they couldn't do for themselves. Remind them that restaurant servers, childcare providers, grandparents, and anyone else who helps them also deserve the kindness of a "please" and "thank you."
Have Them Contribute to Household Chores
Once your children are old enough to help clean up toys and their rooms, retrieve their own snacks and drinks, and care for family pets, it's vital that you require them to do so. Not only will it lighten your load and teach them responsibility, but doing chores [3] reminds them that all those tasks you complete for them actually require work. Once they do that work themselves, they're more likely to appreciate when you do it for them.
Make Them Write Thank You Notes (Even to You)
When your child receives a gift from a friend, a family member, or even you, help them start the habit of writing a prompt and sincere thank you note. You can start this even before they can spell their own names by writing a note for them, then having them draw a picture or add a scribble of their own. You're still teaching them that a gift deserves an expression of gratitude.
Model Grateful Behaviour
Our children watch and learn from everything we do, so be a model of gratitude. Effusively thank servers and childcare helpers. When you're visiting your own parents and they make you breakfast or fill up your gas tank (am I the only almost 40-year-old whose parents still do this?!), be sure that your child sees you expressing gratitude. Yes, parents of all ages love to help their kids, but they also deserve thanks.