The internet hasn't fully recovered since our beloved Mark Wahlberg [1] shared his impressive workout schedule [2] with us. His days start when many of us are just getting into our REM groove (he wakes up at 2:30 a.m. to get going!), and while all that he's able to accomplish in a 24-hour timespan is seriously impressive, it's also — dare we say — on par with that of a new mom. Raise your hand if you're also getting up at 2:30 a.m?

So what's Mark doing at, say, 9:30 a.m.? He's in the cryo chamber [3], while the rest of us are in our "crying chamber." Read on to see our version — golf optional.