Parenting is full of twists and turns at every stage. Just when you think you've got things down, you're thrown a new curve ball that you either never saw coming or knew was coming, but still have no idea how to handle. When I had my first child, I couldn't imagine anything being harder than the newborn stage [1]. Boy, was I wrong. The toddler years nearly did me in! And now that I'm parenting a tween [2], I'm not sure I'll survive these years either. But, as parents, we figure it out and persist, because what else would we do? I asked my friends to dish on what the hardest part of parenting [3] has been for them so far just to make sure I wasn't alone. So if you need some validation that you aren't totally screwing things up (you're not, I promise), keep reading.
Divorce
"The hardest parenting moment was going through divorce and helping my child understand that it has nothing to do with her. I remember being so scared to be a single mom. She taught me things about parenting and I will be forever grateful." — Lynn
Lack of Sleep
"The hardest part of parenting for me was the lack of sleep. Despite all of our best efforts, neither one of our children slept well until they were well over 2 years old. [They were] up as many as five or six times a night, every night, for two years. It was exhausting. That level of long-term exhaustion is not something you can prepare for. My kids are beautiful, incredibly healthy, and smart, but apparently don't need beauty or brain sleep." — Rebecca
Breastfeeding Fairy Tales
"The hardest part of parenting for me was breastfeeding. I had this whole fairy tale idea in my head of how it was going to be. It turned out nothing like what I thought. Lots and lots of self doubt, questioning, and determination went into that stage of parenting." — Jen
Special Needs
"Raising special need children, specifically when you first realise your child isn't developing like others and you're starting the crazy process of figuring it all out. I wouldn't trade it for anything though." — Sonya
Postpartum OCD
"As a mom who had postpartum OCD, I couldn't stop watching my daughter breathe because I was so afraid of SIDS. I literally would not close my eyes. If I fell asleep, I would jolt up and watch her again — for months. Sleep deprivation made me physically and mentally ill. The first year was the hardest for me by far." — Deirdre
Letting Go
"I would say letting go as they get older — no one prepares you for how hard that will be. It happens in the blink of an eye. Next would be allowing them to fail without stepping in to fix it." — Jerri
Letting Them Make Mistakes
"The hardest part is letting your kids make mistakes and fall or fail. Then helping them and shepherding them to get back on their feet and keep trying." — Kathleen
Growing Into Their Own People
"I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is coming to terms with the idea you had of parenting and what the reality actually is. There's a spectacular quote that essentially says, 'We are all the best parent we will ever be before having children.' I think of this all the time.
The other thing I find challenging is the push and pull of them growing into their own people. They need you and want to be near you one moment, and the next you are the most embarrassing, ridiculous person they have ever met and want nothing to do with you. Some version of this is present in every stage from toddlerhood to adolescents." — Angie
Difficult Situations
"One of the hardest parts of parenting for me is taking in three kids from a broken family and trying to care for them and make them feel secure and loved — on top of making sure our own children are not suffering and still feel just as loved. I'm not going to lie, I've asked myself a few times if I made the right decision. It's hard, but all in all children deserve a healthy start in life." — Nicole
Time Off From Career
"Choosing to take time off from my career. I still struggle with wondering if I've made the right decision and with worrying if and when I'll return." — Meghan
Self Care
"Remembering self care while caring for them." — MarQuett
Mom Shaming
"The mom shaming and comparison. The isolation from others when you just can't handle it anymore." — Carrie
Unrealistic Expectations
"Having these unrealistic expectations about how great of a mother you'll be and then realising you don't even care that they're eating Oreos for breakfast and wearing the same clothes from yesterday; because, by god, we made it through another day!" — Kayti
Breaking Boundaries
"The hardest part of parenting is letting them break boundaries. It's the only way they learn about life." — Melissa
Every Stage Is Hard
"The hardest part of parenting is always whatever stage you are currently in." — Meredith
Picking My Battles
"Learning to let go, especially as they get older and develop their own decision making skills. It can be difficult to watch your child put on a mismatched outfit with a pair of Mickey Mouse slippers and insisting this is what he's going to wear to school. The other thing I've found the most difficult is learning to pick my battles. Kids are not perfect and sometimes they have to learn on their own. At the same time, it can be hard to watch. I can't always intervene." — Melissa
Being Proud of Them No Matter What
"The hardest part of parenting for my husband and I has been [embracing every stage for what it is]. From accepting that the tween attitude means no smiling for family pictures to actually setting boundaries for character issues like lying, it's about letting go of the idea you have of what your child will be like versus teaching them how to become good humans and letting them be who they are outside of that. It sounds like a no-brainer, but when everyone else's kid is a happy scarecrow, it takes a lot of courage to be proud of yours for wanting to be the pumpkin." — Heather
Juggling Illness
"The hardest part of parenting has been taking care of a sick child in the hospital and still trying to juggle being with the family and other kids back home." — Tracy
Deployment
"My hardest parenting stages always come when my husband deploys. The stress they go through always seems to make everything harder and emotions are heightened. Helping them through adapting to their dad being away has always been rough." — Beth
Being There
"The hardest part of parenting so far has been trying to help my children feel confident that I will be here for them. I had open heart surgery and cancer at the same time last year. Trying to take care of myself and give the kids the support they needed to get through took a village. Trying to find the words to tell them about my health in a way that won't scare the crap out of them while being truthful is a unwanted talent. Watching their eager eyes waiting on a report after every doctor's appointment is heart wrenching, especially when the news isn't good. More than anything I wish they could go through life confident that I will be around and if I'm not, that I have given them enough love and taught them enough about self care to help them through tough times. — Kristin
Comparing to Other Families
"One of the hardest parts for me has been to stop comparing us to other families, and being comfortable with the fact that our happy and healthy may not look like everyone else's." — Jen