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Reasons Moms Who Swear Are the Best

7 Reasons Moms Who Swear Are the BEST F*cking Moms

It's often considered a faux pas to curse in front of your children, but Sarah Hosseini of YourTango is here to explain why moms who curse are actually the sh*t.

Damn straight.

"We were writing two-letter sounds in writing the other day. Like -Ch, -Sh, -Ph and -Ck. The worksheet had -U-C-K, and the children were instructed to write a letter in front of -UCK to make a word."

"Uh huh," I listened, smiling politely at my daughter's kindergarten teacher. I knew what was coming next, and so do you, dear reader.

The teacher went on. "So, your daughter said, 'You know if you put an 'F' in front...' and I quickly interjected and said, 'Wellllllll, we're not going to do that.'"

My reaction was elation. I write profanely for like, a living. I almost had tears running down my face.

"She writes just like her mama!"

"I know. I thought that, too!" said the teacher, laughing.

"OK, but for real, I'll teach her NOT to write swear words."

I know the "normal" reaction is to freak out that my five-year old daughter was about to spell "F*CK" in kindergarten class. But I don't view swear words as taboo.

I'm not trying to be edgy or cool; I just love swearing. I've loved it since I studied it in my college linguistics class. (Yes, linguists study ALL aspects of language, including expletives.) Expletives fascinate me.

In a study called The Science of Swearing, psychology researchers found that swearing did little (if any) harm to children or people in general. In fact, they found that a word in itself, any word, isn't harmful. Harm is determined by HOW the word is used.

For example, if you're using expletives to verbally and emotionally attack your child â€" like calling your kid an assh*le â€" then YOU are, indeed, a f*cking d*ckhead, scum of the earth c*nt who shouldn't be a parent. However, if you stub your toe in front of your child and feel the reflex reaction (like so many of us do) to scream "FUUUUUCCCKKKK!!!" then congratulations! You're normal.

I swear in front of my kids. I don't forbid them to say swear words. I suggest that maybe they shouldn't swear at school or when talking to their friends. I tell them they should never use swear words to call people names. But by and large, swearing is a huge non-issue in our house. And I think my kids are better off for it.

Here are seven reasons moms who swear make the best moms:

Image Source: Getty / Jon Furniss

1. They give it to their kids straight.

No tip-toeing around touchy subjects. No rose-coloured explanations. No coddling conversations. No sugarcoated versions of stories. Can you imagine how many unintentional teen pregnancies could be prevented with straight sex talk at home? If you f*ck a boy or a girl, you could get STDs, which are bumpy, sometimes slimey, dischargey germs that make your vagina and penis stink and look f*cking bananas.

Image Source: UnSplash / Sai De Silva

2. They're unabashedly and fantastically flamboyant.

When I love something — coffee, wine, artwork, bacon — I really f*cking love it. I celebrate life with swear words. What better thing to teach your kids than to be passionate about life and all of its wonderful gifts?

Image Source: Getty / Jon Furniss

3. They're fine with being the b*tch.

I give no f*cks about being perceived a certain way. I don't give a damn about saying "No" to people. I couldn't care less if someone thinks I'm a c*nt for speaking up against hate, discrimination and bigotry. I'm un-f*cking-apologetic about standing up for my daughters and their rights. It's called confidence, folks.

Image Source: UnSplash / Priscilla Du Preez

4. They don't take things too seriously.

I use profanities to help me properly and adequately display my emotions, be it happy or sad. There's nothing a few, well-placed "f*cks" can't cure. By swearing my way through tough situations, I'm less inclined to act out in other ways. Like violent ways. I think that's a big lesson for kids. They should be able to express their feelings in cathartic, productive ways. And if profanity helps them get there, so be it.

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5. They defend their kids fearlessly.

Anyone who f*cks with their kids will be slashed into a million pieces with their sharp tongues. I dare you to be a dick to my kid. That's the kind of support our children need.

Image Source: UnSplash / Derek Thomson

6. They're amazing storytellers.

There's a reason sweary mom bloggers are all the rage right now. They tell (and write) some of the most engageing, funny-as-hell stories. Teaching your child how to tell a good, engageing story is a gift that will help them write essays in high school English class. It will help them present an A+ project in history class. It will help them on job interviews.

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7. They're very open-minded.

A mom that gives no f*cks about dropping said f*cks must be very open and non-judgy. They're not worried about being judged by the world; in fact, they're flicking off the world. Kids need to be taught to be tolerant, empathetic and non-judgmental. They also need to be taught that when someone is being a judgy d*ckhead to them, "F*ck off" is a completely valid and reasonable response.

So, can we ditch the Queen of England English, goody-two-shoes grammar and elitist language rules? I want to talk with my children, not at them. Swearing is a sign of respect (not disrespect) that I'd like to extend to them so they can extend it to someone else. If you don't like that, well ... f*ck off.

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