Should I Post Photos of My Child on Social Media?

Parents, Here's Why Consent Matters When It Comes to Posting Photos of Your Kids on Social Media

It's no secret that today's parents have a whole host of technological challenges that their parents never had to deal with. Even deciding when to allow your child to have a cell phone leads to increasingly complicated questions: are they old enough to have an Instagram account? Should we have a sexting talk?

But what happens when parents are the perpetrators when it comes to bad social media etiquette? Recently, Apple Martin — Gwyneth Paltrow's 14-year-old daughter — criticized her mom for sharing a photo of her on Instagram without asking her first. In the comments section, Apple wrote: "Mom, we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent."

Although some of Gwyneth's followers went as far to call Apple "disrespectful" and "entitled," she does have a point, doesn't she? In a time where everyone from online bullies to future employers can learn everything about you with a few clicks, shouldn't each person have the right to decide which photos — or videos, God forbid — make its way on the internet?

The answer is yes. Here's exactly why.

Image Source: Unsplash / David Sarkisov

There’s a difference between saving a few embarrassing pictures and posting them for the world to see.

When I was growing up in the early '00s, my parents absolutely, one million percent hoarded tons of less-than-flattering pictures of me with a bowl cut. They showed my grandparents, siblings, and the occasional aunt and had a good laugh. But here's the catch, the buck stopped there. They went right back into the scrapbook when my mom was done, never to be glimpsed by a stranger's eye.

Not to be dramatic, but as soon as you post something on Facebook or Instagram, it stays out there, even if you delete it. Can you really blame your kids for not wanting their friends' parents to see photos of them in the bathtub 15 years ago? The teenage years are brutal enough, without the seemingly harmless fanfare, trust me.

Image Source: Unsplash / ROBIN WORRALL

Children are not property. There, I said it.

Harsh? Yes, but it's definitely true. Just because you "spent 22 hours in labor" with said child or "still financially support them" doesn't give you the right to share pictures of them with the world after they specifically asked you not to. If the tables were turned and your kids were posting unapproved photos of you on the internet, I have a hunch most parents wouldn't be so laid-back with the roles reversed.

And I'm not saying that your children should run your household by any means. Hold strong on all matters in terms of bedtimes, sleepover rules, and groundings. But if we want to raise independent, confident kids, we need to let them decide on their own whether they even want a social media presence at all because — spoiler alert — not everyone does.

Image Source: Unsplash / Amanda Vick

Kids demanding consent isn’t “disrespectful.”

In a "no means no society," where we're teaching our children to give and respect boundaries with their peers, how does it come across when their own parent blatantly disregards an easy limit they put in place? While we don't propose letting your kids make their own rules for everything, letting them know that their voice matters is very important.

The bottom line? Although it might be hard to swallow, giving your kids the room to say no is a good thing, especially when social media is involved. Regardless of your privacy settings, if your 10-year-old doesn't want a certain picture floating around Facebook, that's his or her right. Period!

Image Source: Unsplash / David Sarkisov

Tweens And Teens Opinion Parenting Social Media