4 Types of Toxic Phrases You Should Never Say to Boys

These phrases, when uttered flippantly, dismiss your child's emotions and make them think that what they're feeling is wrong or unimportant. Dr. Jamie Long, Psy.D, says: "Invalidation is one of the most damageing forms of emotional abuse. What's scary, it can be one of the most subtle and unintentional abuses."

When your son is upset, sad, angry, or expressing emotion, avoid these responses:

• You're too sensitive.
• Boys don't cry.
• You're fine.
• Stop being a baby.
• You have no reason to be upset.
• Man up!
• Get it out of your system.
• It's not that big of a deal.
• Calm down!
• You shouldn't feel that way.
• You're taking this too personally.
• You're just tired.

It's not often you hear a girl wearing blue be told that "blue is a boy colour," but when it comes to boys and pink, people are quick to point out that it's "a girl colour." However, as Rachel D. Miller, a marriage and family therapist told Fatherly, "The binary view of gender is harmful and restrictive for everyone." And this expands far beyond telling a boy that he shouldn't wear a pink shirt.

The following phrases play into gender close-mindedness, and could communicate to your son that he should be certain things simply because he's a boy (and that he's wrong if he likes a "girl thing"):

• Boys will be boys.
• Pink is a girl colour.
• You throw like a girl.
• Boys don't play with dolls.
• Those are for girls.
• You're such a mama's boy.
• Big boys don't get scared.
• Boys should fight back.

"Let's face it. Some of our kids' traumas may seem pretty frivolous at times, especially if we're having a tough day or are in the middle of a trauma of our own," says Deborah Godfrey, certified Parent Educator. "Children lack the perspective that allows us to see how silly this will all seem a year from now. However, whatever they're feeling is very real to them."

The following phrases, whether in response to a simple ask or to a problem your child — boy or girl — is facing, deny the validity or reality of their feelings and make it seem that you don't care about their needs:

• Because I said so.
• Get over it.
• Stop asking me questions.
• Leave me alone.
• I told you this would happen.
• Just let me do it.
• You make me so mad!
• Go to your room.
• You're driving me crazy!
• Just give me a minute!