The 10 Most Important Things I've Learned After 10 Years of Marriage

There's nothing wrong with fighting every once in a while. In fact, I'd be more concerned if one of us stopped caring enough to fight than I am about our occasional spats. But we keep it civil. We don't call each other names, swear, or raise hands to one another, and we never fight in front of our children.

My husband is, by nature, a quiet and thoughtful guy. So early in our marriage, I used to worry that we didn't talk enough. I'm not exactly sure why it worried me so much, because in reality, someone who wanted to talk all the time would drive me crazy. Sometimes, not talking and allowing one another to just be can be the most comforting feeling in the world.

Sure, those little white lies seem harmless. But lies are lies. They can add up quickly and eventually begin to erode the trust you've spent years building.

Some things aren't worth fighting over. Others are. Know the difference and don't compromise the things you value most. Otherwise, you run of the risk of breeding resentment.

We're married, but we still have our own identities. Whether you want to spend time with friends, take up a hobby, or just go sit in a restaurant by yourself every now and again, it's important to take some time for yourselves.

This is especially important to remember if and when kids enter the mix. Sure, you live, eat, sleep, travel, and, in many cases, parent together every day, but that's not the same as making time for one another. Keep dating each other no matter how full your calendar may seem.

It's unlikely that you'll always agree on everything. If you maintain a common ground, you won't necessarily agree with one another, but you'll at least be able to come to an understanding. And whatever the issue may be, an understanding is better than having that thing you just don't talk about.

We change as we get older, and so do our interests. Keep things interesting and exciting by finding fun, new things to do together. You're bound to surprise yourselves.