POPSUGAR UK

Wondering When Kids Can Use Public Bathrooms Alone? We Asked an Expert to Weigh In

19/06/2018 - 06:05 PM

Any parent who has survived potty-training their kids [1] knows that running errands brings stress about for a new reason: public restrooms.

As if potty-training your kid wasn't hard enough [2], figuring out when exactly you should let your kids navigate the restroom alone can be especially challenging — particularly if your mini me is a member of the opposite sex. Thankfully, Dr. Frank Sileo, PhD, a licenced psychologist and children's book author based in Ridgewood, NJ [3], was able to answer some of our most burning questions about when children should be allowed to use public restrooms.

"There really is not a specific age when parents should allow their kids to use public restrooms on their own," he told POPSUGAR. And technically, no kid should ever be in a public restroom without a parent or guardian around. "According to the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children, no children of any age should be permitted to use public restrooms alone."

Scroll through to see what to do if you ever find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to letting your child use the restroom at the grocery store, mall, or movie theatre.

What should parents consider before letting their kids go to the bathroom alone?

Although there's no hard-and-fast rule outlining when kids can go to the bathroom alone, parents who are considering the option need to make sure their child is completely potty-trained and mature enough to handle being in the restroom by themselves.

Dr. Sileo believes that even though it might seem strange to take your 6-year-old son into the women's room, it's by far the safest option. He also added that toddlers should never be alone in a bathroom [4].

"First off, toddlers should never go into a public restroom by themselves," said Dr. Sileo. "They're too young to be by themselves. If you can't go into the bathroom with your child, it is advised that you stand in the doorway of the bathroom and talk with your child the entire time they are in the restroom."

Is there an age where parents should stop accompanying their kids of the opposite sex to the bathroom?

Rest assured, moms and dads who are out with children of the opposite sex shouldn't read too much into bringing their kids into the restroom. But if there's a family bathroom around, that's usually the best option.

"I think whenever possible, parents should seek out unisex or family bathrooms for their children," said Dr. Sileo. "If there isn't a family restroom, I advise parents to go into the bathroom with their children."

If a dad, for example, feels uncomfortable bringing his daughter into the men's room and there's no family restroom available, Dr. Sileo suggests enlisting the help of an older sister, if possible.

"Young children can go into opposite gender bathrooms. For older children, create a buddy system," he said. "Have an older sibling go in with a younger sibling. Teach safety to all your children about expected behaviour in public places."

Is it ever OK for little kids to ask strangers for help when they're using a public restroom?

Sometimes the set-up in the mall bathroom isn't perfect: the sink might be too high or your little one might run out of toilet paper. And while there's no way of knowing the condition for sure if you're stuck outside, Dr. Sileo wants to remind parents that your children shouldn't talk to strangers in those situations — no matter how dire.

"It is never OK for young children to ask strangers for help when they're using a public restroom," explained Dr. Sileo. "If they cannot reach the sink or if they don't know what to do if they run out of toilet paper, then they shouldn't be using a public bathroom by themselves."

The bottom line? If they're not old enough to troubleshoot such issues on their own, then they're probably not old enough to do a solo bathroom run, whether you're standing right outside or not.

Do you have any advice for parents if their children don't come out right away?

If your son somehow gets stuck in the men's room and leaves you waiting outside, try talking them through their problem before going in to help them.

"Keep a dialogue ongoing. Don't worry about what others think. You are responsible for the safety of your child," said Dr. Sileo. "While standing in the doorway, you can say things like, 'Is everything okay?', 'Do you need help with anything?', 'Don't forget to wash your hands', or 'Remember we don't talk to strangers in bathrooms.'"

And as far as being embarrassed goes? Dr. Sileo urges parents not to waste a single second on that emotion.

"Make sure that your child knows that they must respond to your questions. Do not be concerned if you will embarrass your child by talking to them while they are in the restroom. Safety first!"


Source URL
https://www.popsugar.co.uk/parenting/What-Age-Can-Kids-Go-Bathroom-Themselves-44959539