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The 5 Best (and 5 Worst) Things About Having a Honeymoon Baby

20/12/2018 - 05:30 PM

Four weeks and one day after my husband and I exchanged vows on a magical day [1] punctuated by supportive family and friends and me at my ultimate goal weight, we found out we were expecting our first child. Our honeymoon [2], and its two weeks of glorious relaxation, indulgence, and fun, had produced more than magical memories (and an extra 10 pounds). We were having a baby [3]. I was both shocked — I was 31 and had spent a lot of years trying not to get pregnant — and terrified, overwhelmed, and thrilled. I knew nothing would ever be quite the same [4]. My job, our fourth-floor walk-up apartment in a big city, and my standing Thursday sushi and wine nights with my girlfriends were suddenly not nearly as permanent as they had felt just a few weeks before. One thing, however, was certain: the honeymoon was officially over.

My honeymoon baby is now in second grade (eek!), and after years of being in parenting survival mode [5], I finally have some perspective on what getting pregnant so quickly after marriage really meant for me and my relationship. There are both extremely positive and some superchallenging aspects of seeing that positive sign before you've even had a chance to get your wedding dress dry-cleaned. If you're expecting a honeymoon baby — or thinking of trying for one — here's what you need to know about the ups and downs of the experience.

Pro: You Don't Have to Worry About Whether or Not You Can Get Pregnant

Maybe you watched a friend struggle to conceive or heard about your own mother's fertility issues [6] and worried that you'd experience a similarly hard time getting pregnant. Instead, you've moved straight on to a new set of problems: the realities of pregnancy.

Con: You Won't Have Time to Work Out the Kinks

You're just coming down from the high that was your engagement, wedding, and honeymoon, and bam, you're dealing with the nausea, bloating, and exhaustion that's so often involved in creating new life. All that gestating makes it hard to focus on working out the kinks of married life, and in fact, can create a lot of new problems you never anticipated.

Con: You'll Have a Lot of Stressful Decisions to Make Right Away

When I got pregnant with my honeymoon baby, I lived in a fourth-floor apartment, without an lift or first-floor storage space for a stroller and with a dog who still expected to be walked multiple times a day. Even in my clueless, kid-less state, I knew that probably wasn't going to work long-term. So not only were my new husband and I preparing to be parents, we were also looking for a new home and considering moving to a new town to find one. Double the stress.

Con: Your Friends Might Not Be in the Baby Stage Yet

In my experience, weddings come in waves within friendship groups. If you were at the beginning of that wave, you're probably going to have to attend lots of what should be superfun engagement parties, showers, and weddings with a belly bump, completely sober, and praying that at least one of your friends comes home with a honeymoon baby, too, so you'll have someone to commiserate with.


Source URL
https://www.popsugar.co.uk/parenting/What-Having-Honeymoon-Baby-Really-Like-45621878