I tell my daughter she is perfect to me, every day. It's what I call out the window when I'm dropping her off at school. It's what I whisper in her ear when she's sad. She sees these words on her school lunch notes. And, no, I don't think telling my child she is perfect to me makes her feel entitled. I think it's the most important thing we can say to our kids these days, other than I love you.
From the moment my daughter leaves my sight in the morning each day, there will be a dozen people who will make her feel small.
Here's why: from the moment my daughter leaves my sight in the morning each day and walks in the doors of her school, there will be a dozen people who will make her feel small. There's the teacher who chastised her for not understanding a new maths concept. There's the "friend" who told her she couldn't sit with her at lunch anymore. There's the kid in gym who loudly called out that he didn't want her on his team. There's the girl on the bus ride home who made fun of her for some silly, insignificant reason. Never mind the negative influences she will one day absorb from social media, if I EVER agree to get her a phone.
Whether it's bullying, or kids just being kids, I feel it's imperative to remind my daughter daily that no matter what happened outside of our house, she always comes home to me, and I think she's perfect just the way she is. Whether she got the new maths concept right away or struggled. Whether she sat alone at lunch that day or had 10 friends fighting to sit next to her. Whether she was good at the new game in gym or sucked at it. I think she's perfect no matter what the kid on the bus may have said, and she can always count on me feeling that way about her.
Rest assured, telling her she's perfect doesn't stop me from correcting her bad behaviour or make me blindly excuse rudeness or unkindness on her part. It means that unlike many of the people she may come in contact with in her life, I will never judge her. I will never think less of her if she makes a mistake. I will never look at her through any lens other than that of 100 percent pure love and adoration. She needs to know that, in her heart, so she can walk through the world with the confidence that her mom is always on her side.